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Being present with the mystery
I’ve hardly posted on my personal Instagram account lately (@carriemallon), as I’m more focused on the deck account right now, but going live the other day gave me a bit of new inspiration. Some of you might remember when Periscope was a thing (that lasted a hot minute.) I used to do lives pretty regularly for a while there, and this seems like as good a time as any to host another livestream or two. So I’m going to do an impromptu live on my personal account tomorrow, Wednesday April 1 at 11am MST. So come say hi if you’re around? We can pull some cards. Maybe talk about the Fool, since it’s April Fools Day? Wherever the wind may go.
Anyway, at the end of the Spacious Tarot livestream, I offered to pull a card for the collective. The High Priestess jumped out as I was shuffling (which hardly ever happens to me, so I will usually incorporate the card into the reading if it does), then I drew the Hermit.
What a pair.
I was rambling through my initial thoughts on these cards, slowly circling around the heart of what I wanted to say about them, when…
We reached Instagram’s one hour time limit, which I did not know was a thing and will be useful to know for future livestreams, and the stream came to an abrupt end before I could finish my thoughts.
I’ve been thinking about this draw a lot since then, and so I want to talk more about it here.
First, we have two majors. That’s already an attention grabbling pull. And we have two majors that both deal with themes of introspection, the unconscious, dreams, intuition, self-discovery.
The High Priestess came out reversed (I turned it around for the photo) and the reversal made me think that perhaps some of us are having resistance to this energy lately. Maybe some of us are reaching outwards for illumination, listening to other people’s hot takes, waiting for someone else to come in and say THIS is why this is happening, and THIS is what it means.
There is space for us to address those questions collectively. But maybe collective understanding has to start with individuals who are able to be in a different paradigm. In other words, that’s us: the mystics, the witches, the weirdos. Especially if you’re having resistance to magic and self-exploration right now…. that’s a pretty good sign that these ways of being are even more important than ever.
What is it that unites you with your inner Hermit and High Priestess? What practices help you connect with your unconscious self? What atmospheres coax out your inner wisdom? Now is not a time to let resistance disconnect you from these things. It’s a time to commit to your path in an even more expansive way.
The Hermit is also a little on the nose when a lot of us are spending as much time as possible inside. Maybe it’s a little affirmation that even if there are real challenges to this, it is still a good and wise thing.
And here’s the other part that feels really important with these two cards:
We aren’t even really called to pinpoint specific answers right now. We are called to be present with the mystery. Feel into the murkiness. Explore this space not with urgency, but with curiosity. Let things ebb and flow and be ambiguous like the moon and the waves, instead of trying to force things to stay still and be understood.
This is actually a poignant aspect of how I view tarot as a tool. We turn to tarot when we are uncertain. Sometimes, the cards give clear answers and detailed direction. But in many circumstances, tarot actually doesn’t give us the answers our ego wants. Instead, it gives us what our soul needs. Tarot gives us things which are ultimately more powerful than answers, like: new perspectives. Reframes to our stories.
Tarot teaches us to be present with the unfathomable, the vast, the deep… the sacred mystery.
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Hi, I'm Carrie!
I'm a tarot reader and mentor. My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
A spacious tarot spread
It feels like it has been a year since I last wrote you, but the Gregorian calendar informs me it has only been one week. Hmm. Time is weird like that. And I don’t have to tell you that this time is particularly weird. You know.
I wish I had some deep and useful thoughts to share. But I’m just gonna ramble a bit. Then later, we’ll do a tarot spread.
I’m not doing the best. I’m kind of just proud of myself for doing the basic stuff I need to do to keep surviving (a little work, a little exercise, taking vitamins, spiritual practice). Sometimes you just need to meet yourself where you are.
Y’know the saying when it rains, it storms? This week, on top of the global crisis we are all facing, we had an earthquake here in Utah. I have had anxiety about earthquakes for a long time but this was the first significant one I’ve experienced (5.7 magnitude). It was scary and unnerving, and intensified the frazzled energy people here were already feeling.
So yeah. Global pandemics. Earthquakes. 2020 didn’t come to play.
HOWEVER.
I can say this in all honesty: the main thing keeping me going right now (besides watching Bob Ross and playing Animal Crossing) is gratitude. I’m not quite sure how to explain it without speaking in platitudes (I try to avoid platitudes, but I’m not sure what my success rate is). The best thing about gratitude is that it can live along side feelings of discomfort, and things being wrong, and things that you want to change.
Gratitude does not mean rolling over and accepting the status quo. It means digging deep and finding the part of you that is shiny and alive and unbroken, even when the world around you is literally and figuratively shaking.
And to me, gratitude means perspective. Which is a tricky thing sometimes, because even though there is always someone who has it worse, you’re still allowed to feel not great about your current circumstances. But at the same time, you don’t want to blow things out of proportion and dwell in misery. So you’re allowed to be like “THIS SUCKS” but at the same time, can you find the bits and pieces that don’t suck and that may even, possibly, be good? Wondrous? Magical?
I’m grateful that there was no major damage or deaths from the earthquake. I’m grateful for everyone following physical distancing protocols to slow the spread of the pandemic. I’m grateful for those who can’t stay home because they are doing essential work to help society. I’m grateful to see neighbors helping neighbors. I’m grateful for cats and dogs (and all the other critters too, of course). And even though I’m very frustrated about a lot of the stuff happening at a global level, I’m grateful that a lot of other people are also frustrated because it means many people care and want to support each other and make things better.
I thought today I’d share a simple little spread I created for The Spacious Tarot guidebook. This spread is for exploring whatever space you’re currently experiencing. You can approach this one of two ways: the first option is to keep it open ended, and consider ‘space’ as a broad theme in whatever way speaks to you. The second would be to chose to focus on a particular type of space (such as mental, physical, spiritual or emotional space).
I do hope you’ll try the spread for yourself, but also I’m going to offer my interpretation of this spread for the collective, looking at the broad concept of our overall shared energetic space. You are welcome to take anything that resonates here and leave the rest. I will be using The Spacious Tarot.
In this deck we have a muddy hill. An injured wolf painstakingly makes its way forward. Collectively, there is weariness. The wolf hints to me that many of us may be feeling lonely. Like it’s just you out here, by yourself, making your way up that hill without companionship. This is likely compounded by the fact that due to social distancing, many of us are uprooted from normal interactions and support systems.
It is said that misery loves company, and there is some truth to this. Especially if you have been feeling alone in your struggles, this card affirms that you are not the only one feeling this way. You are allowed to reach out and vent. Give yourself permission to commiserate. Everyone is experiencing some level of difficulty at this time, and you are NOT alone. This isn’t about dwelling on or amplifying struggles, it’s about validating them and then finding a viable way forward.
The message here reminds me a bit of what I rambled about earlier: it’s okay to be like “THIS SUCKS!” But even as we acknowledge what sucks, we need to look around for what resources are available to us. They may not look like the old resources, but new modalities are arising. The stones on the horizon could represent new structures, new resources, an as yet undefined sanctuary. Be gentle with yourself, but keep going and know that we are working to build a new reality together.
The Guardian (Queen) of Swords gives further messages about the lessons of this space. We are learning to embody certain traits of this guardian. Most notably, we are learning to listen. Some of this is happening as you’d expect: listening to experts. Listening to friends and loved ones.
But there’s also a spiritual dimension to the ways we are learning to listen.
It may seem paradoxical, but now is a time to listen to the realms that are more than human. In fact, we are learning to practice discernment in our listening, because perhaps there are many things in the human realm we have been listening to for too long when what we really needed to do was clear them away. We have been listening to too much noise. Now is a time to listen to what really matters.
Listen to the trees. Listen to the wind. Listen to your ancestors and maybe even listen to those who come after you. Listen to the moon and the sun and the stars. Sit still and listen. At first, it may seem only like cold silence. But with practice, you notice even silence has textures and whispers. And with patience, messages emerge. What do you hear?
The Elder (King) of Wands gives further advice. The Elder of Wands is a restless character, yet s/he channels this restlessness into something meaningful. Instead of just making you frazzled, perhaps some of the restless energy within you can be focused to create your version of fireworks. This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to write the next great novel or complete some type of magnum opus (though if that is your calling, embrace it).
Instead, we are advised to simply bring some consciousness about how we are channeling our energy. There are many things we cannot control. And a tricky thing here is that this restless energy might come forward as acute stress, which is not useful individually or collectively. So, it’s the tried and true advice to focus on what you can control. There is such a thing as good stress, so let’s look for ways to channel our restlessness not destructively, but creatively. As much as it is available to you, bombard the darkness with big bold light and audaciously vibrant vibes.
Sooooo…. yeah! That’s what I have for you today, and maybe there’s something from the reading you can carry with you. Please do comment to share thoughts if you have them.
Sending light,
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Look up.
Hello fellow humans,
I know you’re probably oversaturated with the news of the world right now, so I’m going to do two things with this message today.
In the first part, I’ll be talking about the big world news. I’ll try to do so in a calm and centered sort of way, but if you are inundated with this and don’t want to hear about it right now, that is valid.
If you’d like to scroll to the bottom of the email, I’m gonna share some miscellaneous stuff which is bringing me joy lately (music, TV shows, etc) so you can just scroll on down to the big bold text announcing ‘UNRELATED STUFF’ if you want to. It’s underneath the picture of The Sun.
First, I want to talk about what’s coming up for me personally right now. Above is a blackout poem I made a few years ago, which feels very relevant for me once again.
Look up.
This is the message that keeps coming through to me from the universe. I’ll be out on a walk worrying about this global pandemic, and the trees seem to whisper:
Look up.
I’ll be scrolling through my phone reading endless news articles and something within me calls…
Look up.
We can’t deny the gravity of this situation. It’s bad. People are sick and dying. Others pass the sickness along without knowing they are doing so. People who are already at a disadvantage due to their line of work, health, age, etc are now in an even worse spot. There’s economic uncertainty, parents scrambling to care for kids who are out of school, anxieties are running high. This is all real stuff that we can’t ignore or spiritually bypass.
Alongside all of this, there is the call.
Look up.
It makes me think about one aspect of the Wheel of Fortune in tarot that is very important to me: you can’t control everything. Sometimes terrible things happen and they evade our understanding.
I’m kind of going to the dark place here, but you know… bad stuff happens. Bad stuff has always happened, and always will happen. Some people believe everything happens for a reason, but that is not my personal belief. I think some things are just random.
Humans like to find meaning in things. We are meaning makers. Story tellers. And maybe in time, we will find individual and collective stories that help us make sense of the coronavirus pandemic. Maybe you believe that this is some broader working of the universe that fits into a bigger plan. Or maybe you don’t. Either way of being is okay.
It may sound counterintuitive, but for me, giving myself permission to stop looking for a reason and meaning behind everything has been very freeing.
It’s okay if things feel random. It’s okay if stuff doesn’t make sense. Especially when you’re right in the middle of the wheel’s motion, as we are now.
“The Star shows you that there is no need to be anything other than exactly what you are. You don’t need to be perfect, and you don’t need to respond to tragedy in any one right way. Even when times seem dark, there is an invitation to a moment of peace. This isn’t in an attempt to ignore or negate the reality of suffering, but rather to give you a broader perspective.”
This goes back to the recurring theme.
Look up.
Even in the bleakness, there are magical things happening right now:
People are choosing to keep physical distance (not spiritual distance!) to slow the spread of the virus. In Italy, people sing from balconies. In my neighborhood forums people are offering each other all sorts of assistance. Some people are finding space to reconnect with creative and spiritual practices.
And maybe I’m being overly optimistic here, but as a society we are being forced to acknowledge (and hopefully, find ways to mend) the flaws in our healthcare and economic systems.
Where I live, spring is slowly emerging. Going outside is still allowed, and it is necessary medicine. Put the phone down. Look up, and maybe you’ll see birds. Buds. Clouds. Signs of life and movement and sensuality and presence. Like we talked about with the Wheel of Fortune, bad things do happen, and always will. But wonderful things will always happen, too. So I’m not gonna stop looking around. But as much as possible, I’m going to look up.
A few posts I’ve written over the years with more thoughts on times of uncertainty:
Five Tarot Cards to Meditate On For Tough Times
I Hope, I Despair, I Hope
How To Stay Informed Without Losing Your Shit
Here are a few things which are bringing me joy and keeping me sane lately:
Listening to Harry Styles. I am a little bit in love with him, it’s fine. I was too old for One Direction but his solo stuff is real good. A few songs to try depending on your mood: feeling emotional about the state of the world? Sign of the Times. Want a bubbly, Vampire Weekend-esque song that matches the vibe of The Sun card above? Sunflower, Vol 6. Want a chill groovy song which is better live than on the album and also shows how great not only Harry is, but his band is? Lights Up. And my favorite HS song just for good measure: Ever Since New York.
PBS Passport. I mean I get that Disney + is all the hype right now but don’t sleep on PBS, people. I joined passport a couple months ago, gives you access to stream many PBS shows. My favorites right now: Antiques Roadshow and America’s Test Kitchen.
DOPE 4 Bird Personality Test. I have a thing for personality tests and this one delights me to no end. The concept is based around four types of birds: Dove, Owl, Pigeon and Eagle (hence DOPE), each exemplifying different traits. I got really excited about this when a friend described it to me, and I exclaimed :I want to know what bird I am!” Without skipping a beat, she said “oh, you’re a dove, hun.” Sure enough, I took the test online and I am, indeed, a dove. Take it for yourself.
Video games. My husband and I have been playing a fair amount of Mario Kart. We have many of them but 8 is my favorite. I need Nintendo to release a new one like, yesterday. I’m finally getting around to playing Final Fantasy 15 but not sure if I like it. I’ve also started replaying my favorite game of all time EarthBound – such an underrated classic. It’s funny! Has great music! It’s just phenomenal. And although I’ve never played Animal Crossing, I keep hearing about it everywhere lately and I’m thinking about getting the new one that comes out this week.
That’s it for now. Sending lots of love and chill vibes to all. If you have thoughts on anything shared here, please do leave a comment.
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Hi, I'm Carrie!
I'm a tarot reader and mentor. My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
Tough or Tender Tarot
It’s been a while since the last round of Tough or Tender Tarot, so let’s remedy that today.
In case you haven’t experienced this before, here’s the idea: tune into yourself and ask which would be better for you: some TOUGH love, or some TENDER wisdom. If you choose tough, I’ll channel my inner Emperor and offer a message which is firm yet constructive. If you choose tender, I’ll channel my inner Empress and offer a message which is sweet yet sincere.
I’ll also be using two different decks today: the Hayworth Tarot (tough) and Playful Heart Tarot (tender).
If you haven’t already, take a moment to choose:
TOUGH
or
tender
Then
scroll
down
for
your
message.
If you chose TOUGH, you have the Five of Swords + Ten of Wands from the Hayworth Tarot.
If you’re wasting your precious energy debating your aunt’s coworker on Facebook or arguing with randos on Twitter (or even just lurking and watching online debates without actively participating!!) it might be time to walk the f*ck away because there are no winners here. There’s some shadow stuff to consider, because if you’re honest, this isn’t really an instance of fighting for something you believe in. You might be telling yourself that’s what you’re doing, but is it? Or are you just trying to win for the sake of winning, for the thrill of seeing someone else be wrong?
Last bit of advice here is that if you really need to continue this conversation, bring it face to face. So much is lost when we talk to each other behind screens (inflection, body language, etc). The last thing this world needs right now is more faceless disembodied entities hiding behind screens, screaming at clouds.
If you chose tender, you have Judgement + the Nine of Cups from the Playful Heart Tarot.
Look at all these happy, celebrating creatures! You are in a phase of growth and blooming. Declare this to be true! This lines up really well especially for those of you in the northern hemisphere, as we are preparing to enter spring. Especially if you’ve felt dormant for some time, a welcome shift is now available to you. Don’t shy away. Know you deserve this and embrace this.
Joseph Campbell said that when you start moving towards your bliss, doors will open and hands will help you. This sounds easy breezy and for some of you it might be, but Judgement shows that moving towards your bliss is an active process. Your task is to release resistance and expectations. What feels blissful to you now may be new and unexpected and different from the goals you’d previously been chasing. This is why it’s so important to release expectations. At this time, joy is found in the unexpected, as long as you let it move through you.
The Nine of Cups is traditionally associated with wishes. In this deck, the Nine of Cups is populated with all kinds of creatures, not just one individual. You are called to deepen your empathy and compassion, and you’re learning that joy does transcend the individual. Moving towards joy and bliss is not about being selfish. At this time your primary intention could be “may all beings be happy.” All beings – yourself included, because a rising tide lifts all ships.
So there you have it! I hope your message resonates, or at least gives you something interesting to think about. If you have thoughts to share, please do leave a comment.
In other news…
Soon, I will be participating as a student in Pull Pen Paint. Pull Pen Paint (PPP) is a collection of teachers presenting info about all things magical (tarot, oracle, journaling, art, all kinds of great stuff). The program is organized by Kiala Givehand, and she’s really brought together some amazing teachers… in fact, I will be making a special guest appearance as a teacher at the PPP Deep Dive level! 🙂
Overall, PPP is about strengthening your intuition, connecting to your creativity, and deepening your spiritual practice. You can learn more + register here. That’s my affiliate link – I’m honored and proud to be part of this program! Maybe I’ll see you there?
Take good care,
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Foundational Tarot, a free video course!
Hi, I'm Carrie!
I'm a tarot reader and mentor. My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
Past, Present, Future
But this doesn’t mean the past and the future aren’t worthy of your attention.
The present does not exist in a vacuum. The present is directly influenced by the past. You are influenced by your personal past traumas and victories. And even beyond this lifetime, the genetic and cultural legacy of your ancestors sway your life today.
Beliefs vary on this, but I believe we are also influenced by the future. What is time, anyway? Is it really linear? Who’s to say that things which haven’t yet unfolded on your timeline aren’t already creating waves for you to surf right now?
And let’s be real: whether or not the past and future are worthy of your attention, they sure do demand your attention sometimes, don’t they? Unless you’re like the Dalai Lama or Eckhart Tolle or something, you probably find yourself pondering the past or imagining the future just as often as you find yourself perfectly centered in the present.
At any given moment, some of your energy is going to the past. Some the present. And some to the future. How much energy you are giving to each – and what that energy consists of – varies.
In some instances, you are consciously aware of this. Perhaps you know you’ve been stuck on something that happened long ago, or projecting yourself vividly out about something that may (or may not) happen soon. But the tricky thing is that you’re not always consciously aware of where your energy is going, let alone why it’s going there.
Why does any of this matter though? I mean, I will try to tell you more about why in a moment, but first let’s let my boy Carl Jung drop some wisdom:
“Whoever protects himself against what is new and strange and regresses to the past falls into the same neurotic condition as the man who identifies himself with the new and runs away from the past. The only difference is that one has estranged himself from the past and the other from the future. In principle both are doing the same thing: they are reinforcing their narrow range of consciousness instead of shattering it in the tension of opposites and building up a state of wider and higher consciousness.”
I’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot lately, because I’m in a phase where I find my own energy distribution across the time continuum to be… wild. A few weeks ago I visited my parents house and went through a bunch of my old stuff from high school. Which led to a week of obsessively listening to music that I loved in high school. And using all this nostalgia as a sort of comfort blanket against dealing with the present.
Some people might say I was protecting myself against the strange and new while regressing into the past.
Then this week I’ve been on a huge kick of planning for the future. Stocking up on food in case of a global pandemic, considering what I want my business to look like in a year, voting in a presidential primary. Making a list of upcoming albums and video games I’m looking forward to.
Identifying with the new and running away from the past?
Let’s just say I have accepted that I’ll always be a slightly neurotic person. But like I said earlier, there are ways to minimize that neuroticism.
Luckily for us, there is this tool which is super effective at bringing unconscious stuff into the light of your conscious awareness. This tool is called tarot, of course!
I’m approaching this by using a variation of a classic Past/Present/Future tarot spread. Instead of looking for general reflections, I’m specifically asking what I need to know about the energy I’m giving to each of these realms. And I’ve added a fourth card to bring advice on how I might better distribute my energy.
Cheers to building up states of wider and higher consciousness,
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Foundational Tarot, a free video course!
Hi, I'm Carrie!
I'm a tarot reader and mentor. My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
Lessons on burnout from the Ten of Wands
BURNOUT.
I have been experiencing burnout lately. The combination of shipping out a huge volume of decks, plus the oppression of winter, plus the general exertion of Being a Human had all been piling up on me, Ten of Wands style. And I know it’s not just me. Pretty much everyone I’ve talked to lately is going through some degree of burnout!
So when I drew the Ten of Wands again today, it got me pondering what this card can teach us about burnout. Here are some of my thoughts.
Burnout is cumulative.
Sometimes burnout is caused by one major factor. But more often, it’s the result of many factors which might not seem like a big deal when you consider them individually. But when you’re dealing with them all at once, it’s too much.
That’s what we see visually in the card. Just a few wands, okay, this is manageable. But ten of them?! Now you can’t even see the path forward.
The road to burnout is paved with good intentions.
When I think about the suit of wands, I think about the forces that drive us. Zest! Momentum! So the Ten of Wands shows that burnout is often caused by being too optimistic, choosing to pick up all those metaphoric wands before realizing, oh. This is actually a lot to carry and what used to seem exciting has turned into a proper burden.
So one lesson of the Ten of Wands is to say NO. Or at least, don’t automatically jump to yes! Pause and assess before you add anything else to your energetic field. And maybe even find the courage to back out of something you previously said yes to that is no longer sustainable.
Burnout isn’t rational.
I’ve noticed that when I get burned out, one of my first impulses is to tell myself all the reasons I can’t actually be burned out. I point out to myself that lots of people have it worse than I do. And that I don’t deserve to be burned out. I try to convince myself the burnout isn’t real.
But of course, this is the suit of wands not the suit of swords. Burnout isn’t rational. I can usually identify factors in burnout, but the truth is that sometimes it shows up not for any particular reason, but just because.
Burnout is normalized and glorified, but shouldn’t be.
One of the (many) fucked up things about our culture is that we accept burnout as a fact of life. How many of your conversations with friends center around how busy and tired you all are? Burnout is the norm for so many people, and it’s even worse for people at the margins of society.
So, we simply must make changes big and small to transform our burnout glorifying society into one that prioritizes the wellbeing of all creatures. That should be easy! Nah. I know there’s a lot to unravel here but maybe it starts by just agreeing that burnout is a problem and should be treated as such, not just accepted as a fact of life.
Fighting fire with fire doesn’t work.
Oh goodness, this is a big one for me. Like, my adrenals are shot so my solution is to drink way too much coffee and make myself even more jittery. Yikes. Or my soul is exhausted so instead of genuine rest I scroll mindlessly through my phone and then feel even worse. Double yikes.
What I need when I’m burned out is soothing, not another blast of fire. A step away. Quiet. Deep breaths. Something gentle and flowing. When I give myself these things, I find healing.
Hmmm! There’s a lot more to say, but let’s leave it here for now. Take care of yourselves out there. Put some of those wands down. Be well.
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Foundational Tarot, a free video course!
Hi, I'm Carrie!
I'm a tarot reader and mentor. My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
Unearthing your strange jewels: a tarot spread
It hasn’t been too long since the launch of The Spacious Tarot, a project which used up a lot of creative energy, but it’s been long enough that I find myself sitting with the question…
What’s next?
Someone recently reminded me of a tarot spread I created over four years ago called ‘Unearthing Your Strange Jewels.’ I put this spread together while I was reading the book Big Magic, in which author Elizabeth Gilbert says:
“Look, I don’t know what’s hidden within you. I have no way of knowing such a thing. You yourself may barely know, although I suspect you’ve caught glimpses. I don’t know your capacities, your aspirations, your longings, your secret talents. But surely something wonderful is sheltered inside you.
I say this with all confidence, because I happen to believe we are all walking repositories of buried treasure. I believe this is one of the oldest and most generous tricks the universe plays on us human beings, both for its own amusement and for ours: the universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them.
The hunt to uncover those jewels – that’s creative living. The courage to go on that hunt in the first place – that’s what separates a mundane existence from a more enchanted one.”
Second, when I initially created the spread, I didn’t make a graphic for it and until someone reminded me of it, I’d mostly forgotten it existed. I think it’s quite an interesting spread, and deserves some proper respect, so I’ve created the graphic above!
Last but not least, the aforementioned person who reminded me of this spread’s existence said “I used this when I first started reading tarot and it resulted in one of the most meaningful insights I’ve ever received about my inner landscape.”
That’s some high praise, so I’m revisiting the spread today, and will share my results with you here. And of course, please do try the spread for yourself if it piques your curiosity!
First up I have the Ace of Pentacles, drawing my attention to aspects of my creativity I’m already consciously aware of. This makes sense to me on several levels. Aces can speak to beginnings, and I am quite good at beginnings. I LOVE beginning new creative projects, and in true pentacles fashion, I usually have a strong solid start.
This card also gives me a greater understanding of where I am right now: I definitely sense a lot of potential. There are many things I could do from here, and I’m currently tossing them around much like you might examine a seed before you plant it. I feel a nice affirmation coming from this card, almost like it’s reminding me that it is OKAY to spend time sitting with a seed, contemplating it and examining it before deciding to plant it.
Again, showing me something I’m already aware of: timing is important. Continuing with the seed metaphor, if something is planted too early or too late it will grow poorly. So, I’m called to be intentional not only about what creative work I choose to begin next, but when I choose to begin.
And in a more to-the-point sense, this card shows that I enjoy making things that are tangible, that can be seen, touched, felt. Iiiiiinteresting!
The Ten of Cups reversed hints at ‘strange jewels’ within me that are more obscured, that I am perhaps not as aware of. It stands out to me that this is also the only reversed card in my spread, and reversals sometimes have an ‘obscured’ vibe in general to them. The Ten of Cups can be about sharing joy with others, contributing something to the greater good. I’m having a hard time putting it into words, but here’s what I’m getting from this card:
What is obscured to me is the impact that my creativity has on others. Even when I receive compliments or praise for something that I’ve done, there’s part of me that feels anything I’ve ever created is cringeworthy (in fact, when re-reading the old blog post where I originally shared this spread four years ago, I CRINGED). So my ability to accept praise or to entertain the notion that maybe my creativity could actually make anyone happy…that’s what’s obscured here, perhaps.
Justice kind of ties in to this, and did influence my view on the Ten of Cups when looking at the spread as a whole. Justice represents challenges associated with my creativity. And the first word that pops up for me is IMPACT. I do sometimes have a tendency to get into a nothing matters spiral and overlook the very real IMPACT that my creative output has. Hmmmmmmm.
Another aspect of Justice as a challenge relates back to the Ace of Pentacles, because as I said, I’m good at starting things. But Justice shows that my challenge is with follow through. Because starting something is important, and I’m capable of starting things, but I truly do not have the best track record for actually continuing the things I start. Part of Justice’s message is taking responsibility, honoring what it is you choose to do and thinking of it not as a chore but as a sacred task.
Why is my creativity important? THE MAGICIAN! YESSSS BITCH! Sorry, I’m just really excited to see this card here. The message here is pretty simple. In fact, there’s a quote from Julia Cameron (which I included in the guidebook entry for this card) which says it all: as you are a creation of the universe, you are here to continue the process of creation. BOOM.
The Star continues my streak of three majors in a row, and shows how to express and use my creativity. It’s interesting because I’ve been working my way through Mary K Greer’s classic book ‘Tarot For Yourself’ (side note: HOW had I never worked with this book before, it is amazing!) and in one of the exercises Greer has you go through your deck face-up and choose cards that represent your best abilities, and this is one of the cards I picked.
There’s an openness and a clarity to the Star in this deck. The trees are aligned just so. There are no clouds in the night sky. What this card says to me right now is: you may not know the exact next step, you may get lost in the woods as you move forward from here, but you CAN see the big picture. You know who you are and what matters to you. Don’t get caught up on the minute details of what you create, just focus on expressing something that is true and clear. Then you will always be facing the right direction.
And finally, the Six of Wands gives some more advice on my next step. One of the big themes of this card is confidence, and perhaps it ties back into some of my tendencies to be self-deprecating or to cringe at anything I do. This card reminds me that I’ve already created some pretty cool things and I should be proud of that. And I should tap into the confidence to go on to whatever the next thing is with my head held high instead of trying to hide away. Okay then!
Thank you for indulging me in sharing my own reading, and again, I invite you to try this spread for yourself. Go on, your strange jewels are waiting.
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Hi, I'm Carrie!
I'm a tarot reader and mentor. My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
The Playful Heart Tarot Unboxing + First Impressions
The Playful Heart Tarot is a brand new deck created by Zaara from KittenChops. Zaara generously reached out and offered me a review copy and I’ve been waiting for the right time to open the deck. The past few days have been kinda blah because my computer broke and then getting a new one turned into a big endeavor and then I got behind on all the work I needed to do, plus it’s February and cold and blah outside. So y’know, I mention this in the video, but they are pretty privileged problems to have, but I still haven’t been feeling the happiest.
So today seemed like a good day to treat myself to a deck which is expressly designed to be CUTE and SWEET! Sometimes we need these types of decks in our lives, don’t we? Click the image below to watch the unboxing video.
Sending well wishes to all,
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Hi, I'm Carrie!
I'm a tarot reader and mentor. My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
The Hayworth Tarot: send help I love it
The above photo is what happened when I tried to pick out my favorite cards.
How this deck came to me… there I was, minding my own business on Instagram (as one does) when suddenly I saw someone posting images from this deck. At first I was like, WTF.
Then I was like, I need to zoom in on this image and look at it.
Then I was like, this deck is weird. Hmm. But that Hermit card! And Strength! Woah. Hmm.
Then a day went by, and throughout the day I would think about the deck.
Doing dishes… (that Hermit!)
Replying to emails… (Strength!)
So about 24 hours after first seeing it, I bought it, and then basically stalked my mailbox until it showed up.
The Hayworth Tarot is based on a fiction podcast called Welcome to Night Vale. I had never heard of this podcast before, but after discovering the deck (and while waiting for it to arrive in the mail) I listened to a couple of episodes.
I’m still not sure how I feel about the podcast. I do like the premise: the town of Night Vale is a surreal dessert town where time doesn’t work and odd things happen. The podcast is delivered almost as a news brief, keeping citizens aware of the strange and unruly happenings in the community. So far I like the premise of it more than I’ve liked any of the actual episodes, but it’s good enough that I will keep listening.
But the deck? The deck, I love. There are a couple of images I’m now able to correlate to references in the podcast, but many I have no context for. Having no context is almost even better though, because then you can really just project your intuition onto the imagery.
ANYWAY. I filmed an unboxing (unbagging?) and first impressions video as I went through the deck for the first time. So check that out. I’ll also be sharing more thoughts on the deck below.
I already mentioned having a hard time picking favorite cards, but so far the ones above are the very top contenders.
I mention this in the unboxing video, but Strength in any deck often makes me think about facing the more unruly aspects of yourself. We’re used to seeing a woman with a lion, the lion can be a metaphor for what is untamed and maybe even dangerous or threatening within you. But it can also be a metaphor for what is true and wild about you, but hidden away because maybe it’s not so acceptable among polite society.
In this Strength card, we have someone tearing off their own face. Could be a metaphor for removing the polite masks, letting the beast within you come out for better (or perhaps for worse). The figure wears a shadowy cloak, reminding me of shadow work: facing and integrating what is repressed within you. ALSO THE HANDS ARE GROWING OUT OF THE HEAD AND CHEST, WHY I DON’T KNOW BUT IT IS WEIRD AND I AM HERE FOR IT.
All of the Knights in this deck feature entrails and in the video I mention the Knight of Cups in particular actually making me feel a little squeamish. But since I filmed that a couple of days ago it has grown on me, I just needed to get over the shock of seeing, you know, entrails on a tarot card. A cup of entrails (which is what we see on the Knight of Cups) is not gonna be everyone’s cup of tea, so to speak.
But the Knight of Pentacles is one of my favorite cards. Something is growing from the entrails. Sometimes the gaping black holes in you are not just nihilistic voids, but fertile places making way for beautiful stuff to become real in this world.
My biggest disappointment with this deck is that although there are many very original takes on the cards, there’s also a good chunk of cards which are basically just RWS clones with a Night Vale twist. Don’t get me wrong, they are still delightfully bizarre and I like many of them, but my favorites in this deck are the ones that give us something different. Like the Nine of Swords.
There’s a fine line between nightmares and dreams. There’s a fine line between a good trip and a bad trip. Sometimes these things exist at the same time. That’s what I see in this Nine of Swords.
The Hierophant is just fun? Why do I think this is fun, I don’t know, but I do?! First, we have a misspelling. Which I don’t mind at all because honestly Hierophant and Heirophant is basically like potato po-TAH-to amirite? This is not the first deck to misspell this title and who cares. The Spacious Tarot also has a misspelling so it’s we’re in good company.
Also who cares about the spelling with an image this rad. What is happening? His face is melting. And he’s throwing his hands up like he’s yelling BOO. He’s in traditionalish pope-ish garb which makes it feels kind of irreverent. I like it a lot.
THE HERMIT! It actually reminds me a little of our version in Spacious Tarot. Hands holding a lightbulb in the dark. It’s good. It’s real good.
The Star was one of the first cards I saw on Instagram and it threw me for a loop for a second but then I decided it was great. What was intended by the artist? What is this referencing from the podcast? Who the hell knows. But what I see is someone giving themselves permission to experience abundance. To snort the stars, if you will. How often do we hold ourselves back from joy? All the damn time. How about we stop doing that and be like the figure on this card.
The Eight of Pentacles speaks to my inner nihilist. I also mention this in the video but usually the Eight of Pentacles is like, work hard because it gives life meaning! But this one is like, hey, sometimes society just drills that message into us because #capitalism. Sometimes working hard is really just digging yourself and all of us into a hole. Very timely as we humans proceed to ignore the dire straits our planet is in and put profit above all else. Sad, but important to consider.
I don’t even mind how RWS inspired the Lovers is because it is so great. So these people are basically being disintegrated or something and like pulled up into… a UFO? Another dimension? Also the colors are great. It works for me.
The Tower is one of my favorite tarot cards in general so I’m glad they did something a little different with it here. Instead of crumbling to the ground this one is being pulled up, kind of like the Lovers. Sometimes you just need to abandon your current reality, let it fall apart and reassemble itself in the new dimension.
The Emperor just isn’t doing it for me. Can’t get the Emperor from that image. Maybe I’ll get there eventually?
The Hanged Man is another that’s just a little too on the nose and boring. I can work with it but it’s not particularly thought provoking for me.
Justice might be my least favorite card in the deck. I really can’t get to an interpretation of Justice from this image. One of the first episodes of the podcast I listened to was called “The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your House.” I think this is supposed to be her but it’s definitely not how I pictured her! I don’t think they did her…. justice.
The Nine of Pentacles is another that I just can’t get to the card meaning from this image. Is that a dead bird? Why though?
Anyway… as I said in the beginning, this has somehow already and quite unexpectedly become one of my favorite decks ever. I’m not sure how “popular” it will become – I think it came out in November, but when I looked it up I only found two other unboxing videos besides mine. They probably haven’t really marketed the deck to tarot readers as I’m sure the target market is people who listen to the podcast. But my fellow tarot readers, do not sleep on this deck because it is awesome!
I am kind of tempted to do what I did with the Wild Unknown and blog through my thoughts on every single card in this deck. I love it that much. It probably won’t reach Wild Unknown levels of popularity because it is quite odd, but I think there will certainly be a subset of people who love the Hayworth Tarot as much as I do.
You can purchase the deck here.
Watch my unboxing video here.
Until next time,
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Hi, I'm Carrie!
I'm a tarot reader and mentor. My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
Pick a pile (featuring THE SPACIOUS TAROT!)
My services have been closed for some time, but we have a handful of very generous Kickstarter backers whose pledges include a custom reading from yours truly. Now that the shipping frenzy has calmed down a little, I’ve had the chance to begin those readings.
And today, I would like to offer some open-ended messages, from The Spacious Tarot, for you. If you’d like to participate, take a moment to settle in wherever you are. Perhaps take a breath or wiggle your fingers or stamp your feet or do whatever it is that brings you into
t h i s m o m e n t.
When you’re ready, take a look at the photo below and choose the pile you are most drawn to: top or bottom.
c
r
o
l
l
d
o
w
n
f
o
r
t
h
e
r
e
v
e
a
l
Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! I promise, I shuffled thoroughly, yet here we are. Water, water, everywhere, for us all.
If you picked the top pile, you have the Two of Cups and Nine of Cups reversed. The key message that’s coming to me here is this: don’t be so focused on what you wish this relationship was like that you miss out on experiencing what it is actually like.
The Two of Cups can symbolize relationships of any kind, so for some of you this might be a marriage/romantic partnership, but it could also be a close friend or family member.
When you’re close with someone, it’s easy to see the good in them… but it’s also easy to become attached to an idealized version of that person. To let your projection of who they are muddy up the truth of who they are. To wish they would behave a little differently. To want them to show love in a slightly different way.
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t have high expectations of your nearest and dearest. But if it is perfection that you desire, you are always going to be disappointed.
There’s an invitation here to approach this relationship with curiosity instead of presumption. Drift away from how you wish things were and open to the expanse of how things actually are. Let the partnership be what it truly is, and find the lessons available to you through this connection.
If you picked the bottom pile, you have the Elder of Cups reversed and the Guardian of Cups. We have two court cards here (equivalent to the King and Queen, respectively), and as they are from the suit of cups they speak to your understanding of the emotional realm.
You may be feeling right on the brink of a breakthrough. You’ve been plumbing the depths, sorting through your feelings, processing something which likely isn’t very easy to process. And now, like the Elder returning to the surface, you finally feel ready to emerge with a tangible lesson from all of this.
But then you waver. Uncertainty comes in. Something triggers you, and you’re back in a more tender, vulnerable place.
This is okay. Although it may feel unsettling as you experience it, this is how breakthroughs work. They don’t happen all at once. Feelings don’t always respond to the linear workings of rationality and time. Trust that you are healing. You are finding ways to respect your emotions without letting them drag you under. But it’s a process, and it’s okay if you backslide occasionally.
The Guardian of Cups stands vigil at a flower, reminding you to honor and protect what is fragile yet beautiful within yourself. You’re further along than you think you are, and you are fully capable of swimming onwards from here.
I hope you found something resonant in your message! With all of these cups coming up for us, it feels appropriate to end with some sentiments that are kind of mushy but very true:
You are love and you are loved. Like the ocean, you can be simultaneously tumultuous and serene. Thank you for being here.
Sign up for email updates and get
Foundational Tarot, a free video course!
Hi, I'm Carrie!
I'm a tarot reader and mentor. My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
Carrie Mallon
Header art from The Spacious Tarot illustrated by Annie Ruygt
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2014-2019
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