Hello from home!

It feels like it has been a year since I last wrote you, but the Gregorian calendar informs me it has only been one week. Hmm. Time is weird like that. And I don’t have to tell you that this time is particularly weird. You know.

I wish I had some deep and useful thoughts to share. But I’m just gonna ramble a bit. Then later, we’ll do a tarot spread.

I’m not doing the best. I’m kind of just proud of myself for doing the basic stuff I need to do to keep surviving (a little work, a little exercise, taking vitamins, spiritual practice). Sometimes you just need to meet yourself where you are.

Y’know the saying when it rains, it storms? This week, on top of the global crisis we are all facing, we had an earthquake here in Utah. I have had anxiety about earthquakes for a long time but this was the first significant one I’ve experienced (5.7 magnitude). It was scary and unnerving, and intensified the frazzled energy people here were already feeling.

So yeah. Global pandemics. Earthquakes. 2020 didn’t come to play.


I can say this in all honesty: the main thing keeping me going right now (besides watching Bob Ross and playing Animal Crossing) is gratitude. I’m not quite sure how to explain it without speaking in platitudes (I try to avoid platitudes, but I’m not sure what my success rate is). The best thing about gratitude is that it can live along side feelings of discomfort, and things being wrong, and things that you want to change.

Gratitude does not mean rolling over and accepting the status quo. It means digging deep and finding the part of you that is shiny and alive and unbroken, even when the world around you is literally and figuratively shaking.

And to me, gratitude means perspective. Which is a tricky thing sometimes, because even though there is always someone who has it worse, you’re still allowed to feel not great about your current circumstances. But at the same time, you don’t want to blow things out of proportion and dwell in misery. So you’re allowed to be like “THIS SUCKS” but at the same time, can you find the bits and pieces that don’t suck and that may even, possibly, be good? Wondrous? Magical?

I’m grateful that there was no major damage or deaths from the earthquake. I’m grateful for everyone following physical distancing protocols to slow the spread of the pandemic. I’m grateful for those who can’t stay home because they are doing essential work to help society. I’m grateful to see neighbors helping neighbors. I’m grateful for cats and dogs (and all the other critters too, of course). And even though I’m very frustrated about a lot of the stuff happening at a global level, I’m grateful that a lot of other people are also frustrated because it means many people care and want to support each other and make things better.

Speaking of gratitude… probably goes without saying, but I am grateful for tarot. This is a tool that has been there for me no matter what space I find myself in.

I thought today I’d share a simple little spread I created for The Spacious Tarot guidebook. This spread is for exploring whatever space you’re currently experiencing. You can approach this one of two ways: the first option is to keep it open ended, and consider ‘space’ as a broad theme in whatever way speaks to you. The second would be to chose to focus on a particular type of space (such as mental, physical, spiritual or emotional space).

I do hope you’ll try the spread for yourself, but also I’m going to offer my interpretation of this spread for the collective, looking at the broad concept of our overall shared energetic space. You are welcome to take anything that resonates here and leave the rest. I will be using The Spacious Tarot.

The Five of Pentacles represents our current space and what a card this is to see here. This card is traditionally associated with hardship in the material realm. It’s not a surprising card to see when many are concerned about their physical health, and financial hardships are taking their toll as well.

In this deck we have a muddy hill. An injured wolf painstakingly makes its way forward. Collectively, there is weariness. The wolf hints to me that many of us may be feeling lonely. Like it’s just you out here, by yourself, making your way up that hill without companionship. This is likely compounded by the fact that due to social distancing, many of us are uprooted from normal interactions and support systems.

It is said that misery loves company, and there is some truth to this. Especially if you have been feeling alone in your struggles, this card affirms that you are not the only one feeling this way. You are allowed to reach out and vent. Give yourself permission to commiserate. Everyone is experiencing some level of difficulty at this time, and you are NOT alone. This isn’t about dwelling on or amplifying struggles, it’s about validating them and then finding a viable way forward.

The message here reminds me a bit of what I rambled about earlier: it’s okay to be like “THIS SUCKS!” But even as we acknowledge what sucks, we need to look around for what resources are available to us. They may not look like the old resources, but new modalities are arising. The stones on the horizon could represent new structures, new resources, an as yet undefined sanctuary. Be gentle with yourself, but keep going and know that we are working to build a new reality together.

The Guardian (Queen) of Swords gives further messages about the lessons of this space. We are learning to embody certain traits of this guardian. Most notably, we are learning to listen. Some of this is happening as you’d expect: listening to experts. Listening to friends and loved ones.

But there’s also a spiritual dimension to the ways we are learning to listen.

It may seem paradoxical, but now is a time to listen to the realms that are more than human. In fact, we are learning to practice discernment in our listening, because perhaps there are many things in the human realm we have been listening to for too long when what we really needed to do was clear them away. We have been listening to too much noise. Now is a time to listen to what really matters.

Listen to the trees. Listen to the wind. Listen to your ancestors and maybe even listen to those who come after you. Listen to the moon and the sun and the stars. Sit still and listen. At first, it may seem only like cold silence. But with practice, you notice even silence has textures and whispers. And with patience, messages emerge. What do you hear?

The Elder (King) of Wands gives further advice. The Elder of Wands is a restless character, yet s/he channels this restlessness into something meaningful. Instead of just making you frazzled, perhaps some of the restless energy within you can be focused to create your version of fireworks. This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to write the next great novel or complete some type of magnum opus (though if that is your calling, embrace it).

Instead, we are advised to simply bring some consciousness about how we are channeling our energy. There are many things we cannot control. And a tricky thing here is that this restless energy might come forward as acute stress, which is not useful individually or collectively. So, it’s the tried and true advice to focus on what you can control. There is such a thing as good stress, so let’s look for ways to channel our restlessness not destructively, but creatively. As much as it is available to you, bombard the darkness with big bold light and audaciously vibrant vibes.

Sooooo…. yeah! That’s what I have for you today, and maybe there’s something from the reading you can carry with you. Please do comment to share thoughts if you have them.

Sending light,

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