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How can I be useful to you?
Each time I sit down to do a tarot reading for a client, write a blog post, or make a video, I ask the Universe to make me of service. I want everything I create to be intentional. I want my blog posts and videos to come from my heart, and I want them to speak to your heart. I trust that the Universe will guide me to the right tarot cards, life lessons, and blog topics at the right time.
I put up new posts every Tuesday, and I choose the topics by reflecting on the prominent lessons and themes of my own life. I try to create content that is in line with my strengths and my unique way of looking at the world. In this way, I create for myself. But I don’t create in a vacuum.
I have a strong desire to create things that YOU will find helpful and illuminating.
This week, I felt that it was time to voice this desire to you directly. Yes, you. Anyone who reads or watches this. Anyone who follows me on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter. I want to be useful to you. I want to connect with you.
I want to create useful, interesting things that you look forward to every Tuesday.
And so I would love to hear your thoughts. What have I created so far that has resonated with you? How can I use my blogs and videos to tap into the themes which are cropping up in your life? What would you like to see more of? What would you like to see less of? What would give you a reason to connect with me every Tuesday (and the rest of the week)?
Would you like to see more posts on creativity? Resistance? Relationships? Would you enjoy more thoughts on the business side of tarot? Are you interested in more guided meditations? Deck reviews?
I’d like to know what lights you up, what you’re struggling with, what makes you feel alive. I’m open to your thoughts. Constructive criticism. Requests. Rambles. Anything. Don’t be shy. Talk to me!
Please leave me a comment, email me (carrie at happyfishtarot.com) send me a private message on Facebook… There’s a bajillion ways to connect, and I’m ready to listen.
Peace, love and happy fish,
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Eight ways to invoke your muse
If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, or if you’ve read any of my recent blogs, you know that I’m in the thick of National Novel Writing Month. This means I’m attempting to write a fifty thousand word novel within the thirty days of November. Yowza! I can’t sit idly by, hoping my muse will show up (nobody got time for that). I need to find ways to actively invite my muse in, to encourage her to sprinkle me with inspiration.
I’m always listening for ways to better serve my muse. What does she enjoy? What turns her on? What pisses her off? How can I increase the chances of her dropping by? These have become pressing questions. I’ve discovered a few top-secret muse-attracting tips. Maybe they will impress your muse, as well.
1. Cultivate the belief that you HAVE a muse.
You can decide for yourself what a muse actually is. When I say muse, I’m referring to a force that connects me to universal inspiration and limitless ideas. A force that whispers in my ear, bubbling up the right ideas at the right time. Believing in your muse is the first step to recruiting her assistance.
2. Pick a tarot card to represent your muse.
I’ve chosen The Star. In the Rider-Waite image, we see a lovely lady positioned before an aquamarine pool. She pours water freely from two containers. She trusts that the water will not run dry. This reminds me of the ever-replenishing well of ideas and inspiration. When I see this card, I can feel my muse plugging me into this always-fresh stream. Let your intuition guide you to your muse card, then keep this card with you as you create. I have my card propped up next to me on my writing desk.
3. Pick a crystal or stone to represent your muse.
Say what you will about any innate mystical properties (or lack thereof) in crystals, but no one can deny their beauty. There’s something about a bright shiny object that makes my muse swoon. I have a pleasing chunk of crystal quartz that I keep with me when I write. I like to think my muse can channel herself through the energy of the crystal.
4. Go to one of your muse’s haunting grounds.
Maybe your muse likes to hang out in concert venues or dance halls or flea markets. Mine likes to chill in a gorgeous canyon just a few minutes away from my home. Sometimes I walk there, listen for her, and invite her to hang out with me.
5. Listen to the right tunes.
Most muses love music, but their tastes vary widely. Mine’s been digging harp music lately. What about yours?
6. Scent the air.
Candles, incense, essential oils. What smelly good stuff does your muse like? Mine is particularly fond of lavender and sandalwood. Surround yourself with good smells and it won’t be long before the muse comes knocking.
7. Break up your routine.
Muses get bored of doing the same thing over and over. Sure, sweeping dramatic gestures are great – but a simple change can bring pleasing results as well. Try a new restaurant. Walk in a new neighborhood. Take a scenic route on the drive to work. Give your muse some variety and she’ll warm right up.
8. Honor ideas when your muse brings them by.
This is last but DEFINITELY not least! I learned this lesson the hard way. Muses like to drop an idea off when you’re driving or standing in line at the grocery store or zillions of other inconvenient times. Do not fall into the trap of assuming you’ll remember an idea. You won’t. Write it down. Always. Keep a notebook with you everywhere you go (or an app on your smartphone. Technology, FTW!). Write ’em down as they come, even if they’re just idea snippets. If you ignore your muse, she’ll pout and refuse to visit for a while. Acknowledge and respect your muse, and she’ll serve you well for all your days.
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When Doing What You’re Meant to Do is Difficult
“Just because writing is hard for me doesn’t mean that it’s not what I’m supposed to be doing.” – Kate DiCamillo, Newbery Winner
Sometimes the creative endeavors that you hold dear to your heart – the activities that fuel your soul and give your life meaning – are incredibly difficult. I can relate to the figure on the Ten of Wands. He’s struggling to continue. He’s following a path forged by his initial sparks of passion yet he finds himself hardly able to push forward.
In theory, we want to live creative lives. We say we want to write, start a business, learn to cook. We know what activities will bring us joy and enrichment. Yet when we try to actually DO these things, we feel resistant. We might even self-sabotage. We make U-turns and go back to the status quo.
If you saw my Tarot Spreads for Writing post, you might remember that I’m currently in the midst of National Novel Writing Month. This event challenges would-be writers to bust out a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. I cherish writing. I need to write. Yet every time I sit down to work on the next stretch of my novel…
I feel like the dude on the Ten of Wands. Resistant, weary. Like I’ve taken on more than I can handle. Like I kind of want to forget about writing and look at cat memes instead.
This doesn’t mean I don’t experience moments of euphoria, waves of inspiration and deep satisfaction. I do – and you will, too, if you’re working on something that truly feeds your soul. But the moments of joy are earned with moments of struggle, resistance and persistence. In ‘The Artist’s Way,’ Julia Cameron compares creative living to marathon training. You’ll log ten slow miles for every one fast mile.
It is essential to use your own intuition when something is hard for you. Is the struggle worth it? Are you growing and learning? Do you have a deep, wordless knowing that this is what you are meant to do, despite the battle?
For me, the answer is a resounding yes. The hard road is worth the moments of flow. I’m really, truly living. I’m risking, discovering. It may be hard, but I’m doing what I’m meant to do. What about you?
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Surviving the Waiting Game
The figure on the Seven of Pentacles knows what she wants, and she’s not just dreaming. She’s already started laying the groundwork. She’s determined to help her plan blossom into her reality. She can envision her successful business, her published novel, her gorgeous home. Part of her has faith that her plans will come to fruition. But part of her is getting impatient. Why isn’t this thing happening yet?!?! Gaaaahhh!
If you are striving to create Big Important Things in your life, you can probably relate. Logically, we understand there can be beauty in the waiting game. This is an opportunity to take stock and prepare your next move. Even though you consciously know this, if you’re like me, you might find yourself distressed, impatient and frustrated as you wait for your desires to unfold. I’ve discovered a few tactics that have helped me make peace with the waiting game, and I’ll share them with you today.
Choose to channel your energy into planning, not stressing.
Stress likes to try to convince you that it is productive. The truth is that stress is work, but it will get you nowhere. Stress tends to crop up in high gear as you wait for your deepest desires to manifest. Practice catching yourself in the act of harboring stressful thoughts. It’s easier said than done, but with persistence you can transform stressful energy into something useful.
Force yourself to breathe and look at things objectively. Remind yourself of the concrete progress that you’ve made so far. Calmly evaluate what’s working and what isn’t. The waiting game is a gift from the universe. Instead of plowing blindly forward, re-examine your maps. Reflect and recalibrate. Get back to work only once you’ve developed a solid action plan.
Repeat an affirmation or mantra that expresses trust in divine timing.
We stress out during the waiting game because we want things to happen on our time. We take on the full responsibility of birthing our desires into reality. That’s a heavy burden to carry, and saps energy we could be spending elsewhere. There’s only so much planning, working and stressing we human beings can do before we have to hand things over to a higher power. Again, even if you consciously know this, it can be easy to forget. An affirmation provides an anchor for your consciousness. Mine is “I trust the expansion of the Universe.” What’s yours?
Try an exercise in imagination and visualization.
I will forewarn you: when I first read this exercise in Spirituality & Health magazine, I thought it sounded cheesy as all get out. But I tried it, and felt an immediate upsurge of peace. Sit somewhere quiet and take a few deep breaths. Imagine that thing that you’re working towards – the house, the business, whatever. Picture it as vividly as you can. Now imagine it engulfed in a golden sphere of light. Let the sphere of light go. Choose to let it drift away from you. Release it to the universe. Have faith that the universe will bring it back to you when the timing is right. This helps loosen stress and frees up the energy needed to devote to your work without obsessing over the outcome.
As long as you’re dictating when and how results will come, your progress will be stunted.
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Consciously taking steps to accept divine timing will free up your energy.
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These tips don’t ensure that your goals and desires will be presented to you on a silver platter. But they do offer relief as you witness the unfolding of your life. Make peace with the waiting game, and you’ll have a more clear idea of your next right step.
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Tarot Niblet :: Death
Tarot Spreads For Writing
The end of October is upon us, and aside from pumpkin muffins & crisp leaves, this means it’s time to prepare for National Novel Writing Month! This will be my fifth time participating in NaNoWriMo, which happens every November. Participants vow to write a 50,000 word novel during the thirty days of the month.
If you’ve always wanted to write a novel but been daunted by the magnitude of the task, NaNoWriMo is for you. It’ll set your pants on fire and force your inner critic to shut up. The point isn’t to write an articulate, perfectly pruned novel. The point is to just… WRITE. Words. Fifty thousand of them. It’s exhilarating, terrifying, and everything in between.
Maybe you have zero ideas for a story, or perhaps you have a general concept that needs to be fleshed out. Either way, with a few clever tarot draws, you can sketch the foundation of your novel. There are countless spreads and methods already available to help facilitate this process (I own and recommend the book ‘Tarot for Writers’ by Corinne Kenner). I’m going to add some more spice to the pot by sharing three spreads I’ve created. I hope you’ll find them useful!
establish the theme of your story.
I’ve found that identifying the theme of my story early on is crucial. The theme provides an anchor for other elements of the novel. This spread will help you evoke and explore your novel’s theme.
I’m a sucker for good characters. An interesting crew of people can keep me hooked even when the story has other weaknesses. This spread will help give your characters depth and intrigue.
It has come to my attention that once you begin writing a novel, things need to happen. This spread will help you explore what those things might be.
Have you ever used tarot for writing? I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts.
Write on,
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Growth is a spiral process (not a straight line)
The Major Arcana cards of the tarot show a process of growth. You are like the Fool, venturing out, encountering different archetypal figures and lessons. We find tarot compelling because we recognize the situations and characters of the Fool’s path. They draw parallels to the lessons that you and I encounter on our own path of personal growth, our road to individuation.
Even though the cards are numbered in a certain way, we don’t always integrate them in order. The numbered order of the cards gives you a framework for your growth, but the truth is, we learn the lessons of the Major Arcana in a wandering fashion. Sometimes we’re faced with similar lessons time and time again. Certain lessons are easily integrated, others we find hard to grasp.
Growth is not a straight line, but a spiral. Life is like a game of chutes and ladders. You climb, you fall down. You skip two steps only to fall one back. You might encounter the lessons of the Majors in their numbered order. Or, you might integrate the Sun’s message of clarity and freedom early in life, but not be faced with the Chariot’s lessons of self-control until much later.
Sometimes you finally integrate a lesson only to circle around and revisit it from a different vista (I’ve experienced this with the Tower). Each card has it’s own complex spectrum of meanings. Just when you’ve grasped one angle, the Universe will seem to arrange things so that you’ll meet that lesson again, this time from a different perspective. If you struggle with addictions, you’ll circle around to the Devil time and time again. If you have a lack of structure, you will become well acquainted with the Emperor.
Occasionally, your growth will seem to stall entirely. You’ll feel like you’re stagnating. This suspension is also part of the growth process (think of the Hanged Man). Your path is not predictable. It’s full of setbacks and growth spurts and everything in between. And that’s exactly how it should be.
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Strength :: Wild Unknown Tarot Card Meanings
I’ve written interpretations for every card in the Wild Unknown Tarot. As the box of the deck states, there are no rights or wrongs. These are simply my perspectives on the tarot card meanings. I hope you find them useful!
Click here for a directory of all posts in my Wild Unknown series.
Deck Creator’s Keywords: patience, mastery of emotions, courage
Carrie’s Keywords: fortitude, patience, gentle power
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Strength Tarot Card Meanings in the Wild Unknown
The Strength card is quietly dominated by the presence of a lion. The lion faces straight forward. Like the Chariot, this lion is not one to shy away from life. Strength offers you a way to approaches even difficult situations with patience and conviction.
In the original version of this post, I referred to this lion using feminine pronouns (she, her). Several commenters pointed out that as this lion has a mane, it is actually a male lion. One commenter pointed out that this lion could be a “two-spirit, genderqueer or trans lioness.” For simplicity’s sake, I will use gender neutral pronouns in this updated version.
As I’ve stated a couple of times in these posts, I believe that all archetypes at their core are gender neutral. The Strength card is typically associated with “feminine energy” because it shows a strong and confident yet calm approach. But the term “yin energy” might be more appropriate as this phrasing does not have the distracting gender connotations.
The lion carries a rose in their mouth. Although their teeth are sharp enough that they could easily rip the flower in half, they do not. Instead, the flower is held carefully, showing a gentle fierceness. The lion’s mastery is achieved softly, not through brute force. Instead of exerting their will to solve a problem, they work WITH the problem.
Above the lion is a sun, emanating orange and yellow rays. This adds to the sense of pride we already associate with lions. On the lion’s forehead is a lemniscate, enhanced with orange and yellow. This shows a broad scope of infinite energy.
I tend to draw comparisons between Strength and The Chariot as they show variations on a similar theme. The Chariot shows more of a firm-hand control, Strength shows more of a patient mastery. The Wild Unknown does a magnificent job portraying the traits that we have come to associate with the Strength card.
Strength Tarot Card Meanings in General
Traditional depictions show a woman leaning down towards a lion. The woman cradles the lion’s jaw with her hands, gently persuading the creature to cooperate. Instead of exerting a copious amount of energy trying to force the lion to do something, she knows her energy will be better spend if she remains calm. The cactus in The Spacious Tarot also symbolizes energy conservation.
Strength reminds you that sometimes you must play the long game. Meaningful changes take time. You need to have the patience to hold space for others. You need to have the courage to face challenges. And you must have the fortitude to keep showing up no matter what setbacks you encounter.
Strength speaks to your ability to calmly coerce other people to agree with your approach. Tolerance and compassion go a long way when you want to show the validity of your vision. But Strength also speaks to your ability to walk side by side with your own inner demons. Instead of ignoring them or trying to beat them into submission, your best approach is to gain mastery over them by tapping into your courage, your gentle (but fierce) power.
In a reading
In a reading, this card is often a reminder of your inner courage. Just as the lion on the card radiates both patience and boldness, you hold both of these traits within yourself. It is time to step into your reserve of inner courage and do what needs to be done. Have patience with yourself, and have compassion for those you encounter.
Remember that you don’t need to force anything to happen. Instead, look at how you can conserve your energy by working WITH your challenges. When you are simultaneously calm and courageous, you are truly a force to be reckoned with.
3 Lessons About Sustaining a Relationship
Up until a week ago, I’d never done a blog or video about relationships, and now I’m doing the second in a row! Last week I talked about letting go of past relationships. This week I’m talking about sustaining relationships. I do many tarot readings about relationships, and so it’s about time I discussed some of my perspectives!
This weekend my husband and I celebrated two years of marriage. I’ve been reflecting on how much I’ve learned since we began dating five years ago. I don’t proclaim to be an expert on relationships (I’m still learning every day). But I’d like to share the top three lessons I’ve learned (so far) which have helped me – and my relationship – flourish.
Lesson 1: Keep your own invisible kitchen well stocked
I got this concept from ‘The Mastery of Love’ by Don Miguel Ruiz. Imagine that you have a beautiful, fully stocked kitchen. Everything delicious and nourishing you could ever want is here. And it’s a magical kitchen. It never runs low on supplies!
Now, imagine someone knocks on your door and tries to give you a pizza. They try to convince you that you NEED this pizza. You’d probably say “no thanks, I don’t need your pizza. I have my own magical kitchen. I’d be happy to share the pizza with you, but I don’t NEED it.”
Now on the other hand, imagine you have a sparse, nearly empty kitchen. If the same knock came upon your door, you might believe that you really did need that pizza. And you might believe that you had to rely on that other person to keep giving you pizza because your own kitchen is empty.
This is a metaphor for self-love. If you know you have a limitless supply of love and everything you need within, you won’t fall into the trap of depending on another person to supply you with love. Instead, you will enjoy sharing all of the rich love you already have with another person in a healthy, mutually appreciative way.
You are are wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, and glowing, and before you can have a truly rich relationship with another person, you need to be unwaveringly certain of these truths.
When I read this years ago, it was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on my head. I realized that I hadn’t been acting like I had my own magical kitchen. I cried and cried and cried. But even though I felt like my magical kitchen was sparse, I recognized it had potential to grow. I committed to loving myself first and foremost. This decision completely transformed my life and how I approach relationships.
Lesson 2: Be vulnerable, even when it is the hardest thing you’ve ever done.
If you want to have a really rich, soulful connection with another human being, you will eventually need to learn to let your guard down and show them your truth. This can be incredibly difficult. We all have varying degrees of built up defenses and personas, and these can certainly be useful. But to really connect soul-to-soul, you’ll have to gently take off your armor and expose what is at your core.
Being vulnerable is incredibly difficult. Being vulnerable means willingly putting yourself into a position where you could possibly be hurt. Maybe you want to tell someone you love them, but you are afraid. I can’t say you don’t have reason to be afraid. Sometimes in relationships, you will get hurt. Some relationships will end. But it is absolutely necessary to learn to be vulnerable despite the risk. Vulnerability is what will take your relationship to the next level.
I’ve found it necessary to reach new levels of vulnerability time and time again in my relationship. Each time I resist it. Each time I’m afraid. But I’ve learned now to be willing to expose my soft underbelly in order to reap the rewards of a truly meaningful connection.
The amazing thing you’ll learn is that if you do get hurt, you’ll survive. It will be hard. It will suck. But you will survive, and you’ll be a more resilient, open-hearted person for it. The risk of the pain is much less than the risk of remaining stuck in your defenses.
Lesson 3: Everyone wants to be seen and heard.
We all float through the world with dreams, fears, stories. On the deepest level, what I believe we all want more than anything is to have someone hear our stories. And I don’t mean just listen, but really HEAR. We want someone to understand us. We crave meaningful connections. We want to know that we matter.
This is a lesson I’ve learned about relationships, but it’s carried into every facet of my life. This is a large part of why I read tarot. A tarot reading is a way for me to help fulfill someone’s basic need to be seen and heard. I give them space to be who they are, to let down their defenses, and to know that their experiences are valid.
It is really important to BE PRESENT with your partner. It’s natural and normal that sometimes you’ll be busy. We’re all guilty of sometimes only half-listening while we browse Facebook. But I’ve found that to really maintain a soul-satisfying relationship, you need to prioritize being fully present to see and hear the other person.
This happens at various levels. Sometimes you will need to be present to hear their deepest thoughts. Sometimes you’ll need to be present just to hear about the jerk who cut them off on the freeway. If you’re me, sometimes you’ll need to be present to hear them talk about fantasy football. These are all parts of their life. Listen, ask questions. This doesn’t mean you have to adapt your partners interests (I don’t give a hoot about football), but caring about the fact that your partner is interested in something is important.
Do any of these lessons resonate with you? What lessons have you learned about sustaining a relationship? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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How To Let Go Of A Past Relationship {Tips & Tricks}
Sometimes a relationship ends and you never think of it again. Other relationships (both romantic and platonic) will stay with you your whole life. It’s normal for a profound relationship to occasionally cross your mind no matter how much time has passed. But when the past prevents you from enjoying the present, it needs to be addressed.
I was asked by a viewer to tackle this topic. I wouldn’t call myself an expert, but I have struggled with this issue and learned a few things in the process! Here are my top tips, (punctuated with tarot cards, of course).
The Lovers :: Intend to let go of the stress, not the relationship.
Think about what letting go means to you. To me, it means easing up. Releasing tension. Finding relief from repetitive, draining thoughts. Feeling gratitude and peace. Finding the grace to accept endings. Letting go does not mean forgetting or denying the lessons and beauty.
Unless the relationship was purely toxic, you don’t need to obliterate the entire experience in order to let go. The Lovers card shows a soul-level connection. You were shaped by this dynamic. Your learned, you grew!
When a relationship ends, let go of the stress but keep the silver lining.
Two of Swords :: Unscramble your thoughts and feelings.
Our first instinct is to try not to think about discomfort. The figure on this card holds the swords in front of her like a shield, and wears a blindfold. She is actively refusing to face her thoughts. This is a temporary fix, but if you don’t face your issue directly it will eventually wreak havoc.
I’m a big proponent of getting your thoughts and emotions out in an orderly fashion. Preferably, this means grabbing a pen (or opening a Word document) and writing. If writing really doesn’t resonate with you, talk to yourself.
Don’t censor. The point isn’t to write something elegant. The point is to let whatever comes up come up. Nothing is too petty, silly or irrelevant. Don’t judge yourself. Often just getting this muck into words will help you let go. Let it flow and get it ALL out. Do this as often as necessary.
Eight of Wands: Write an unsent letter.
In the picture on this card, the wands are in perpetual motion. They look as though they are heading somewhere, but they haven’t yet landed. You know that feeling when your stomach drops on a roller coaster? That’s how you feel when you don’t have closure to a relationship. This step will help you land the plane.
Write a letter that you will never send. Write as though you are speaking directly to the person from your past. Tell them what they meant to you, how they changed you. If necessary, tell them how they angered you, how they wronged you, how you wished things would have been different. Tell them about your intention to let go. Be honest and dig within yourself to get to your true feelings.
Remember, this isn’t a letter you will actually send. It is a symbolic act of release. It will help bring your psyche a sense of closure. The sensation of being ‘up in the air’ will start to resolve.
If your agony is fresh, you might need to write multiple unsent letters. I’ve had breakups so difficult that I needed to write day after day after day. Time helps, but soul-level connections transcend the clock. It’s normal if you find yourself writing an unsent letter to someone you knew years ago.
Death: Perform a closing ritual.
With the Lovers, we acknowledged that meaningful relationships will have a life-long effect. With Death, we acknowledge that in order for us to integrate the positive aspects, we need to let negativity die. Performing a ritual can help you find this final closure.
You can go any direction you want with this. You can get down with something elaborate, or keep it simple. Using an affirmation is a basic method. Say something like “I choose to release pain and stress. I choose to let go of all negativity and embrace transformation.” Repeat daily. This helps your brain switch gears and get on board with new thought patterns.
If you’re up for something bolder, the symbolism of fire is powerful. But don’t burn your house down! A sheet of paper is as crazy as I’d get. Burn the unsent letters from the previous step. Mindset is of the utmost importance here. Set an intention for the burning. You aren’t doing this to be hostile or to harbor ill will. You are doing this from a true desire for release, a true willingness to embrace endings.
Letting go of past relationships is an gnarly topic, and your path is yours alone. If you’d like personal, one-on-one guidance in this area, a tarot reading can give us the chance to explore your unique situation. I’d be happy to offer you guidance through a private reading.
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Carrie Mallon
Header art from The Spacious Tarot illustrated by Annie Ruygt
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2014-2019
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