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How to stay informed without losing your shit (part two)

How to stay informed without losing your shit (part two)

If you missed part one of this series, you might want to read that first. Or, just be a rebel and read this one right now! We’re talking about how to stay up to date with the news of the world without totally falling apart in the process.

Don’t jump ten steps forward.

When you hear bad news, your brain might automatically start future-tripping into all of the possible ways this could play out from here. And when this happens, you tend to imagine only the terrible things that might be coming. It’s a Nine of Swords type energy.

Look, I’m not going to tell you to “just be optimistic.” There are scary things happening right now, and being concerned for the future is natural, and to an extent, healthy. Being aware of what is not going well and considering the real implications that could have on the future is necessary.

What’s not necessary is always assuming the worst outcome. What’s not necessary is jumping ten steps ahead and living as though your imagined worst case scenario is a given. When you let yourself obsess about what might happen, you can easily become paralyzed by despair. It renders you unable to live in the present moment, and it renders you unable to do anything that might be in service of a more positive future.

Pay attention to good news too.

It is a psychological fact that our brains focus more on bad news than good news. This is a survival tactic – you need to be aware of threats in order to survive. I have found that I sometimes have to remind my human brain that, hey, there IS some good stuff happening in the news lately. You might not see it splashed across as many headlines because it’s not where attention naturally gravitates, but there is a lot of good stuff happening every damn day.

Do you need a little good news right now? Here are a few pieces of good news (taken from this video. Please absorb them and remember to seek out evidence that the world is a good place, and is in many ways becoming a better place.

  • Charitable donations are at an all-time high.
  • Several terrible diseases, including polio, now pose almost no threat to humanity.
  • The percentage of people living in absolute poverty is the lowest it has ever been.
  • The percentage of kids in school is the highest it has ever been.
  • Literacy rates are the highest they’ve ever been.

There are lots of reasons to feel optimistic, grateful and encouraged, REMEMBER THOSE TOO. Pay attention to good news. Remind your human brain to do this often. On a somewhat related note…

Take a broader perspective.

It is easy to get so swept up into the constant barrage of daily news. But to be a whole, functioning and spiritually sound human being, it is necessary to give yourself permission to step back and adopt a broader perspective. There are several different levels you can take this to:

A broader perspective on your own life. What myths resonate with you? How and why do you belong to this time and place? What purpose do you find in your life, what lessons does this time in history hold for you?

A broader perspective on human history. Read books that were written ten, fifty, a hundred years ago. Read ancient philosophy. Visit natural history museums. Commune with your ancestors in whatever way speaks to you.

A broader perspective on the universe. Look up at the moon as if you’re seeing it for the first time. Look through a telescope if it is available to you. Consider the vast scope of planet earth, our solar system, the milky way, the unfathomable expanses of the cosmos. Sit with your astrological chart and the cosmological perspectives it offers on your current incarnation.

Give yourself time to process and integrate the news.

Some of the stuff I mentioned above ties in here as well. It seems like these days we’re constantly being pelted with new pieces of news. The news moves so damn fast that it already sometimes seems hard to remember what we were freaking over a week ago or a month ago.

You need time to sit with what is happening and process its implications. If a piece of news hits you with a particular gravity, allow yourself to step away from the TV or computer and process it. You might do this by journaling. You might do this by talking to a friend – in person, preferably – we all need more face-to-face contact these days. You might do this by crying, or meditating, or going for a walk. Whatever works for you, give yourself the space to process.

I’m like a broken record with this, but it’s worth saying again. It is hard for you to be conscientious, effective, centered and productive if you’re frazzled and falling apart. Taking care of yourself in troubled times is NOT SELFISH, it is necessary. We need you to be well so that you can keep being a force for goodness, equality, and justice in our world.

Take action in your own way, when you are ready.

In the past few years, I’ve noticed an increase in people on social media trying to dictate to the rest of us precisely what actions we should be taking. Sometimes this is good – I appreciate that well-informed people can push us in the right direction and ask us to contribute. But I am weary of implying that there is only one right way to respond, only one proper action to take in any given situation.

Feel into your own heart and soul. Ask yourself what actions feel in alignment for you. What actions can YOU take that come from your heart? What actions can you take because you feel compelled to do so (not just because someone on Twitter said you should)? A few ideas of actions you might choose to engage in. But do not feel that you HAVE to do any of these things. Trust that you are a good person, and do what is in alignment for you.

  • Calling, emailing or faxing your representatives (if you live in the US).
  • Volunteering your time to causes that matter to you.
  • Donating your money to causes that matter to you.
  • Praying.
  • Sending love and light.
  • Amplifying marginalized voices.
  • Seeking further education on issues that matter to you.
  • Making changes to your lifestyle that reflect changes you want to see in the world.

Keep creating our new story.

One of my core philosophies is that human beings are natural storytellers. So many aspects of our existence that we take to be facts are actually just aspects of either our personal or collective stories. Much of the upheaval we are seeing in the world today is the crumbling of our old collective stories. Those stories are fading away at a rapid pace, and perhaps we are here at this time to help create the as yet unknown new story.

The crumbling old story is one of human dominance over nature. It is the story of patriarchy. It is the story of racism. It is the story of corporate greed. Even as this story is dying around us, it is still currently trying to claw for survival, and it does so in more and more atrocious ways. But it is glaringly obvious that this story is no longer working, and even if it tries to cling on a little longer, it is simply not sustainable.

We do not yet know exactly what the new story will look like. But perhaps all of us are here at this time for a reason. Perhaps we are here to be creators of the new story. I already see evidence of the new story emerging around us. And even though the details are taking shape, the new story is one of heightened awareness. Greater consciousness. Justice. Equality. Care. Tenderness. Honoring of each other and honoring of our shared planet.

We need YOU here to keep creating this new story. So stay informed, yes. But also: do what you need to do to stay in your magic.

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Hi, I'm Carrie!

I'm a tarot reader and mentor.
My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.

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All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
How to stay informed without losing your shit (part one)

How to stay informed without losing your shit (part one)

During the last few months of the vitriolic US presidential election, I started a descent into a very dark place, a dark place worsened by constant exposure to bad news, then more bad news, then worse news. I’m still trying to fully pull myself out of that dark place to this day. I know I’m not alone in this because it’s something I see coming up frequently for friends and clients. We want to be informed, we are devoted to staying woke…. but sometimes it feels like we might lose our last shreds of hope in the process.

Leading up to the election, it was not abnormal for me to spend 3 or more hours a day scrolling endless news articles, opinion pieces and social media posts related to current events. I would walk away from this haze of scrolling feeling dazed and energetically frazzled. Perhaps worst of all, I wasn’t really giving myself the proper space to process the news, to contextualize it, and to figure out how to respond consciously to what was happening in the world.

Ironically, what begins as a desire to stay informed can easily spiral into over exposure and hopelessness. And when you’re feeling fatigued and hopeless, how the fuck are you going to live a meaningful life and contribute to the betterment of society? What point is there to consuming all of this news if it doesn’t translate into truly increased awareness and real world action?

Once the election was over and the reality set in that things were only going to get scarier on a national and global scale, I knew I had to do something about the way I’d been consuming news. I started slowly but surely creating some boundaries for myself, and I’m still fine-tuning them to this day. What do you know? Now that I have some healthy boundaries in place, I am actually better informed, more capable of processing information, and still able to maintain some semblance of centeredness and hope.

Here are a few of the boundaries that have been useful for me:

Ask of any news source: “is this trying to inform me, or is this trying to win?”

A few months after the election, I saw this video (which you should totally watch because it features DOGS) from one of my favorite people on the internet, Hank Green. In this video, Hank says:

“We’re being asked to pay attention to a lot of different big things at the same time. The way that we’re fed content about what’s going on in the world right now is inefficient, and it’s overwhelming, and it’s manipulative. Too frequently now, the people who are tasked with trying to inform the public are trying to win rather than trying to inform, and that is something that I’m getting super sick of.”

When I heard this, I was like “hoooollly shit. Soooo true.” So much of what masquerades as news is actually just clickbait, purposefully designed to be inflammatory and prey upon emotions. Because humans are driven by our primal feelings, we sadly are more likely to engage with content that is designed to win – be that winning money or winning by denigrating the “other side”. So now, before I consume any news, I try to ask myself if what I’m engaging with is actually set up to INFORM me.

Structure your daily news intake.

This is especially important if you are, like me, a highly sensitive person. A few years ago I had no structure around the news: I’d randomly find myself logging into social media and clicking through random articles throughout the day. Sometimes I’d even check my phone first thing when I woke up. This was wreaking havok on me, making me useless to myself and society. So no more of that crap!

Here’s what my structure generally looks like now: I wake up and either meditate or go for a walk first thing. Then I have breakfast while going through my planner and mapping out my day. THEN – once I am spiritually and physically nourished – I check the news. I try to only give myself a certain amount of time (usually around 30 minutes max) to get caught up on current events. I will admit that I often end up scrolling through Twitter in the afternoon and get swept up in the news again, but I at least try to be structured about how much time I spend doing this. Which leads into the next point…

Be wise about your news sources.

We all know that certain news sources are biased towards one political spectrum, and it goes without saying that choosing news sources with as little bias as possible is ideal. My personal go-tos are PBS and NPR. NPR has a daily podcast called Up First that I listen to frequently. It’s only about 15 minutes long, so it’s not too overwhelming, and they do a pretty good job of describing what is happening without getting too swept up in commentary. PBS has a weekly political news digest that I receive via email. I also check NPR’s main homepage once or twice a day.

Differentiate between opinions and facts.

I really do believe it is important to be educated and aware of what is going on in the world. However, we have a strange culture around news right now. A lot of what we consider to be “news” is actually just someone else’s opinion on the news. Sometimes I find myself reading endless opinion pieces, or scrolling through people’s scathing political burns on Twitter, or watching politically minded comedians (ilu Stephen Colbert) and telling myself that this is all a part of keeping up with the news. But, uh, in reality…that’s keeping up with people’s opinions on the news, not the news itself.

There are times when I benefit from taking in other people’s perspectives. Sometimes another person’s thoughts can help me consider my own thoughts more deeply. So I’m not completely opposed to sitting with external opinions on current events by any means. I’ve just found it’s important for me to distinguish between “the facts” and “the opinions.”

Speaking of other people’s opinions, there is a masochistic part of me that wants to read the comments on every news article I encounter. People, do not be like me! Do not read the comments! When you read comments, you will probably wade through 99 garbage opinions to maybe find 1 helpful perspective. I need to get a lot better at following my own advice on this one.

…continue reading: part two.

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Hi, I'm Carrie!

I'm a tarot reader and mentor.
My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.

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All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
A question that changes everything

A question that changes everything

Lately I’ve been making a habit of asking myself the following question:

Is this nourishing me or is this poisoning me?

I got this inquiry from Martha Beck, whom I mentioned in my last post as well (clearly I’m on a kick lately). It’s one of those things that sounds ridiculously simple, but when you start implementing it… well.

Things change. The landscape shifts.

Of course, this is a metaphoric question. Nourishment and poison are not restricted to food (though the things you put in our body are certainly part of the equation). Your thoughts can be nourishing or poisoning. The content you consume – be that in the form of articles, social media, news, books and so on – can be nourishing or poisoning. The physical environments you hang out in can be nourishing or poisoning. Relationships can be nourishing or poisoning. And so on, and so on.

Here’s why this question isn’t actually as simple as it seems: you usually know the answer immediately on an intuitive level. You just know. Discerning if something is nourishing or poisonous for you is not a complicated process, your inner knowing is hardwired to make this distinction.

BUT.

The ego – which loves instant gratification (think the realm of the Devil card in tarot) – is very sneaky about trying to rebrand poison. This is the voice inside of you that says: “nooo, this totally isn’t poison! It’s fiiiiiiiine. It will provide a distraction, it will make you happy right now. It’s okay, go on, drink up…”

So it’s one thing to recognize: ah, this will nourish me. That will poison me. It’s an entirely different thing to actually consistently choose nourishment. Really implementing this question and allowing it to transform you requires you to cultivate a blend of self-love and self-discipline. Myself, I’m still fine-tuning that aforementioned blend of self-discipline and self-love. But as with anything, progress is more important than perfection.

Be gentle with yourself in this process, as it can take time and intention to redirect yourself towards more nourishing choices. It’s okay to start small. Eventually, it may right for you to make bigger, radical changes such as quitting poisonous jobs or leaving poisonous relationships. But you don’t need to rush yourself. Trust the pace of your expansion.

You may also find that the answers to this question shift for you. Do not assume that just because something was nourishing for you in one circumstance it will be nourishing in another. Choosing nourishment is a nuanced process, and it requires you to always tune in to the current state of your inner landscape.

Another caveat: not everything is black and white. I once had a job where I felt micromanaged and under-appreciated (poison) but it also provided insurance and paid my bills (nourishment). I’ve also had certain people in my life who anger me (poison), yet also force me to confront the shadowy shit within myself (nourishment). If you are CERTAIN something is entirely poisonous, it’s wise to do what you can to remove it from your life. But don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater, as they say.

As I’ve been sitting with this question for myself lately, I’ve also been sitting with the Empress tarot card. She reminds me that I am allowed to choose nourishment. She affirms that being nourished and well-cared for is my birthright. As an idealized mother archetype, she reminds me that saying no to poison can sometimes be very hard, but I’ll feel better in the long run when I do it. She reminds me seeking nourishment is not selfish.

Perhaps most importantly, the Empress reminds me that choosing nourishment is how I bring the best version of myself forward. Choosing nourishment is not just about watching out for yourself, it is about tending to yourself so that you can be of greater service to the nourishment of all beings.

***

A few more random updates while I have you here:

  • Tarot reading sessions for July are officially open as of today! We’ll connect via Skype and take a good ol’ deep dive into your messages from the cards. June sessions did sell out, and I’m only offering ten slots during July, so I’d recommend booking soon if you are interested. All the lovely details here.
  • Each astrological season, Siobhan from Radical Tarot gathers twelve tarot readers to contribute tarotscopes for each zodiac sign. Cancer season messages are up now, and I contributed for Virgo! A few of my favorite readers such as Beth from Little Red Tarot, Vix from New Age Hipster and Ariel from Maven Unmasked also contributed this time around, so make sure to read your tarotscope here.
  • The Light & Love Tarot Conference is coming up September 21 in Montreal. I’ll be giving a talk (alongside my freaking IDOLS Mary K Greer and Rachel Pollack). It’d be awesome to see you there! All the details here.
  • Last but not least, and on a more personal note… I’ve still been navigating an annoying bit of resistance when it comes to blogging, and I really want to get back in the flow. So for the next week I’m challenging myself to blog every day, even if it’s just a short post. These ‘bonus’ posts won’t go out as emails, but you can check them out here on the site if you fancy.

Sending nourishing wishes to you always,

Sign up for updates and get the free ebook,
The Tarot Reader’s Daily Companion

Hi, I'm Carrie!

I'm a tarot reader and mentor.
My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.

Archives

Creative Commons License
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
Shortcuts to being spiritually solid

Shortcuts to being spiritually solid

Last week I was listening to an interview with Martha Beck and I heard her say something that metaphorically smacked me upside the head. I’ll paraphrase:

A lot of people want to feel the way a spiritually solid person feels without putting in the work a spiritually solid person puts in.

Uhmmm…yep. You don’t get there by trying to take shortcuts. You get there by doing the things. Of course I know this on a deep level, but in some ways I’d been straying from this truth.

I really like the word solid. In fact, solid is one of my core desired feelings. I DO want to feel the way a spiritually solid person feels! But I will fully admit that as human beings tend to do, I do sometimes catch myself looking for shortcuts to this feeling. This has been coming up for me lately in a big way when it comes to meditation.

In theory, I know meditation is a good thing. Meditation is almost universally agreed upon to be a cornerstone of spiritual practice. Different forms of meditation are hallmarks of traditional religions including Christianity and Buddhism and meditation is also widely practiced in alternative spiritual paths. Science is now catching up with what spirituality has known for centuries, the benefits of meditation are now being articulated in a variety of studies.

I have meditated semi-regularly for several years…semi-regularly being the key term. The truth is that no-frills meditation – focusing on the breath and letting go of attachment to thoughts – is reeeeaaaallly hard for me. But I’ve always had a sense that even though it’s hard, it’s important. It’s something I need. Maybe it’s so hard for me BECAUSE it’s important for me.

For the past month the Universe has been sending me all sorts of signs that I need to get more serious about this shit. Hearing that call out from Martha Beck was the thing that finally clicked it into place for me. I do want to be feel spiritually solid, and I needed that reminder that this requires work. This is all much to my ego’s chagrin, because my ego L-O-V-E-S shortcuts! But my soul knows that “shortcuts” usually just end up getting me lost.

It’s important to be honest with yourself about where your ego is looking for shortcuts, because it happens in SO many ways: maybe you want to have written a book but you don’t want to sit down every day and write. Or you want to get good at something but you want to avoid the awkward learning curve. So your ego starts looking for shortcuts, and you most likely end up sabotaging any real progress.

One key in navigating this process is setting the intention for your soul to love the long road more than your ego loves shortcuts. The things that are the most vital to your overall well-being are usually the things that require you to summon the most integrity and intention. Remind yourself often that you’re taking the long road out of devotion to your Self. Your ego WILL likely resist “doing the work” and try to convince you to settle for an “easier” less magical life. Please, don’t succumb to this fuckery.

Also of important note: “work” in this sense, is not synonymous with unpleasant labor. This type of work is sacred. It is your practice. It is your right action. Listen less to your ego’s lazy ways, and amplify your soul’s devotion to your work.

As for me, once I reached this tipping point I knew what was right for me, and I’m happy to say I’m now doing my work. I’ve started getting up an hour earlier and spending that hour meditating every morning. I’ve stuck with it for five days in a row now. It’s not much, yet, but I do feel that something has shifted and I’m devoted to this practice. I started somewhere, and now I set the intention to stay present for the road ahead.

Sign up for weekly updates and get the free ebook,
The Tarot Reader’s Daily Companion


Hi, I'm Carrie!

I'm a tarot reader and mentor.
My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.

Archives

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All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
Getting back to business

Getting back to business

Oh my goooooodness. Changes are happening and it feels good! The TLDR version is that my tarot reading services are BACK, but I really want to tell you more about what’s been going on. A few weeks ago I took my services offline for spiritual maintenance. There are two main factors that went into this decision:

First: for a while now, I’ve been guided to create a more personal connection with my clients. Up until now I’ve mainly been offering written and audio readings delivered via email. There are a lot of benefits to this format: I could do the readings at my leisure instead of at a pre-determined time, clients could re-read or re-listen as often as they’d like, and so on.

But there were also some drawbacks, the main one that a reading delivered this way is a little one sided: it’s just me riffing on the cards. Since the client isn’t there in the moment, there’s no back and forth conversation. Sure, we can email each other after the reading to discuss things further, but during the actual reading it’s just me and the cards.

The more I absorb myself in my practice as a tarot reader, the more I see the benefits of using the cards in a more interactive way. During a live reading, there is room for dialogue. The reading becomes a co-creative process. There is a special and transformative energy at work in the exchange.

Part of the reason I paused my services was to think about how I could revamp them to be more in this paradigm of real-time connection. I’ve given some consideration to that, and (at least for now) I am focusing solely on this type of reading. When you visit the current iteration of my readings page you’ll see the option to purchase a one hour tarot reading session, and for now all of those sessions will take place in real-time via Skype.

Second: the other reason I paused my services is, well, to be frank…I was burned out, Ten of Wands style. As a tarot reader, I hold space for people during some very intense phases of their lives. Being trusted to offer support during times of upheaval and soul-searching is a great honor, and it is something I take incredibly seriously. And I LOVE what I do.

That said, I am a highly sensitive and empathetic person. Sometimes the gravity of the work that I do accumulates to the point that I have to take a step back – not only for myself, but for my clients. I never want to show up for a reading feeling drained – that would be completely unfair to those I work with. That means that sometimes I need to take a break to replenish.

In this line of work, checking in with your energy HAS to be a priority. To be of service as a counselor or healer or reader you need to have healthy boundaries, and you must have your own self-care on point. Sometimes that means creating the space for yourself to pause your work and get re-aligned.

Now that I’ve given myself a break and re-imagined the services that I offer, it’s time to move forward! Here are the details about how things are looking right now.

I am currently booking tarot reading Skype sessions for June 2018. To ensure the proper energy and attention is given to each client, I am only offering TEN sessions for the month. Appointments are now being accepted on a first-come, first-served basis. If you are interested in booking a reading, you’ll find all the details here!

I’m not sure how this will look in future months, but I have a feeling that putting boundaries on the number of clients I work with will be the new norm. This will help me stay fresh, present and most importantly – of service to my clients. Quality over quantity.

Although I’m feeling great about my current reading options, I know the only thing constant in life is change. I’m trying to stay open to how my business wants to evolve and what the universe wants me to create. More shifts are coming into focus, but they’re not quite ready to be made public yet!

Thank you for your support as my work continues to transform! It means the world to me.

Sign up for weekly updates and get the free ebook,
The Tarot Reader’s Daily Companion


Hi, I'm Carrie!

I'm a tarot reader and mentor.
My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.

Archives

Creative Commons License
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
The Four Tendencies and the Four Knights

The Four Tendencies and the Four Knights

A couple of years ago I decided to start an accountability system with a friend. I have always struggled to follow through on what I want to complete, so I figured having another person to help me stay accountable would be really useful. I mean, it’s one thing to let myself down, but I definitely wouldn’t let another person down…right?

Although it has been incredibly valuable to have someone helping me stay on track, I was disconcerted to realize that although I’d made some improvements, I was still really struggling to follow through even with external accountability. I described this to my accountability friend and she told me about a book she’d recently read, The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin, which lays out four different ‘types’ of people and how they respond to expectations.

It turns out that I’m what Gretchen Rubin calls the “Rebel” type, which means I resist internal AND external accountability. Oh my gosh! Realizing this has been revolutionary for me. I’ve now shared this framework with several of my mentoring clients and watched it set off light bulbs. It’s a simple concept, but can really lead you to better self-understanding. And with better self-understanding you can find more effective ways to navigate your life.

Having these tendencies as a reference is a reminder that we are not all the same. For example, if I was an Obliger – someone who responds well to external accountability – I would have an easier time staying accountable to my friend. Figuring out what works for you when it comes to expectations is not one size fits all. Understanding your tendency helps you customize your approach. 

Since I see the world through the lens of tarot, I’ve been thinking about how the cards might help you understand and work with your tendency and I think the four knights fit best here. The Pages have a more playful approach, and the Kings and Queens a more mature approach. The Knights, though, they’re in a state of flux trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t. Lets take a closer look at the four tendencies and the four knights.

As you read this, consider which best describes you. I’ve included some advice on how you might adjust your approach to expectations once you are aware of your tendency and corresponding knight.

The Upholder tendency could be described by the Knight of Pentacles.

Upholders respond well to both internal and external obligations. If they say they are going to do something, they WILL do it. It doesn’t matter if it’s a private goal no one else knows about or a deadline set by their employer. Upholders are just as dedicated to the promises they make themselves as they are to the promises they make other people.

You might be an Upholder/Knight of Pentacles if:

Your strengths include being organized, planning and goal setting, consistency in getting things done both personally and professionally.

Your struggles include overworking, being too meticulous, holding yourself to unrealistically high standards.

Advice for the Upholder/Knight of Pentacles:

Remember that your worth is not measured by your accomplishments. Consider where you might benefit from more flexible, especially when things don’t go to plan. Make taking breaks non-negotiable!

The Questioner tendency could be described by the Knight of Swords.

Questioners respond well to internal obligations, but resist external obligations. They want to make sure they have a detailed understanding of what the obligation is and why it matters before they commit. They often research things from every angle and ask many questions before moving forward. If an external expectation doesn’t line up with their internal analyzations they will have a hard time following through.

You might be a Questioner/Knight of Swords if:

Your strengths include looking at situations from every angle, researching all potential options, a desire to focus on what is truly important.

Your struggles include analysis paralysis, putting too much time into deliberation and not enough into action, getting overly fixated on making the ‘right’ choice.

Advice for the Questioners/Knight of Swords:

Remember that there is no such thing as a perfect choice, try to trust that things will work out just fine either way. Set boundaries about how much research and questioning you will do before you take action.

The Obliger tendency could be described by the Knight of Cups.

Obligers consistently meet external expectations, but struggle to be accountable to themselves. They tend to put everyone else first and are the most likely to say ‘yes’ to requests for assistance. Obligers are people pleasers, but have a hard time sticking to things they want to do just for themselves. Gretchen Rubin points out that this is the most common of the four tendencies.

You might be an Obliger/Knight of Cups if:

Your strengths include caring deeply about other people’s well-being, being someone others can rely on, volunteering to help when a need is expressed.

Your struggles include putting your own needs last, difficulty prioritizing the things you want to do just for yourself, taking on more than your fair share of emotional labor.

Advice for the Obligers/Knight of Cups:

As you naturally respond to outer expectations, seek out external accountability for your internal goals and desires. Find a friend who can hold you accountable for the things you want and need to do for your own heart.

The Rebel tendency could be described by the Knight of Wands.

Rebels resist both internal and external expectations. Rebels resist things as soon as they feel like they ‘have’ to do them, regardless of if it’s something they’re doing on their own or something that comes with external accountability. Rebels want to do what they want to do, not what is expected of them.

You might be a Rebel/Knight of Wands if:

Your strengths include being true to yourself, marching to the beat of your own drum, and coming up with innovative approaches.

Your struggles include disdain towards obligation, flying by the seat of your pants, flaking out on responsibilities.

Advice for the Rebels/Knight of Wands:

Instead of making the assumption you ‘have’ to do something, take on the attitude that you WANT to do something. Rebels thrive when they feel autonomous and know they are choosing their actions, not being forced into anything.

What do you think – do any of these resonate with you? Might becoming aware of your tendency help you better navigate your relationship to both internal and external accountability? I always like hearing from you guys so leave a comment. Or I should say: if you’re an obliger, leave a comment because I asked. If you’re a questioner, leave a comment if you consider doing so for a while and decide it makes sense. And if you’re an upholder, leave a comment if it fits into your schedule. And if like me you’re a rebel, leave a comment because you want to.

Further resources:

The Four Tendencies book by Gretchen Rubin
The Four Tendencies for Entrepreneurs article from Forbes
Four Tendencies Official Quiz

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Hi, I'm Carrie!

I'm a tarot reader and mentor.
My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.

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I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
So you want to change your life. Here’s how to start.

So you want to change your life. Here’s how to start.

Lately it has become undeniably clear to me that I need to do some major assessments of the Big Picture of my life. I’ve known this for a while but have only recently really devoted to the process. Oprah says that life talks to you in whispers, and if you ignore the whispers, eventually life will smack you upside the head. I feel like I’m alllllmost to the point of life smacking me upside the head, so I’m finally getting serious about sorting things out and making some changes!

As is often the case, when I notice something coming up for me it also seems to come up for people around me. I’ve been working with several clients lately who are grappling with big questions of what to do with their lives going forward. Maybe there’s some collective energy at work leading a lot of us to ask things like: what needs to be uprooted in my life? What do I want my future to look like? What changes must be made in the present to ensure I am on the right path?

Going down this line of inquiry can be exhilarating – but it can also be pretty daunting. Luckily for me this isn’t my first rodeo. I already have a decent amount of experience doing the dirty work of looking at what’s working in my life and what’s not working, taking things apart and putting them back together. As I embark on this process again myself, I’d like to share some tips for those of you who might be going through a similar experience.

It’s happening, accept it and get on board.

When you feel a pull to dig into the roots of your life, your first reaction might be resistance. This definitely happens for me! Lately I’ve been a bit like a stubborn child: “do I HAVE to think about the big picture? Uggggh, that sounds hard. Can’t I just stay in my comfort zone and stick to the status quo? I mean things aren’t really that bad, this is fiiiinnnneee.”

A lot of people stay in the resistance phase for a long time. I’ve had clients tell me they lived this way for YEARS, knowing there were foundational issues in their lives yet unable to commit to facing this truth. So the first thing you must do is decide that you’re no longer willing to live this way. You have to decide that you deserve more, you have to know that change IS possible even if it isn’t easy. You have to ease yourself out of denial, accept that this need for assessment is really happening, and get yourself on board for the process.

Intuition will guide you, but not on your schedule.

It probably goes without saying that I am a huge proponent of the notion that you intuitively know what is best for you. It is the workings of intuition that let you know when something in your life just isn’t quite ‘right’ for you, and it is the workings of intuition that eventually guide you to what IS right. If you’re reading this, you probably have similar beliefs and experiences.

But sometimes we glamorize intuition and make it seem like this super wonderful thing that will automatically solve all your problems. What we don’t talk about as often is that intuition works on its own schedule and in its own ways. It is pretty rare for your intuition to sweep in and bestow you with a detailed plan of what you should do from here. This does happen sometimes, and it’s amazing when it does – but more often, intuition works in subtle ways.

Sometimes there is a really uncomfortable gap between accepting that something is ‘off’ in your life and being intuitively guided as to what precisely you should do about this. When this happens you may get frustrated or doubt your intuition or try to force it to get to work. While there are things you can do to create more space for your intuition to come forward (journaling, pulling tarot cards, the list goes on), sometimes you ultimately need to learn to let go and wait until the answers are good and ready to arise.

Envision clearly but paint with broad strokes.

Once you do have some intuitive understanding of what changes you need to make, you may feel inspired to start really envisioning what your life could look like from here. This is a huge thing that people who are into “manifesting” talk about. I’m all about visioning, dreaming and creating a vivid picture of your ideal reality. Go for it! But there are a few things to watch for here.

The first is letting your ego get in the driver’s seat. One of the tell tale signs that ego is guiding your dreams is that they are all about what you should want. We all know this happens with more ‘traditional’ people, but remember that this happens even to woo-woo people! We think we should want to be drinking green juice every day, being self-employed as a priestess, so on and so on.

Now, if these are things you REALLY want, that’s cool! But maybe what your soul craves is something completely different than the Instagram-worthy spiritual-lifestyle stuff we are told we should want. You’ve got to clear away all notions of what you should want in order to lean into what is truly the right fit for the shape of your soul.

The second thing to watch for here is getting TOO specific about how you envision your future. I know, this probably flies in the face of what all the “manifesting experts” say but whatevs. Having a detailed plan and a specific vision of what you’d like your life to look like can be helpful, don’t get me wrong. But it can also put you into a sort of tunnel vision in which you are so set on this specific vision that you miss all the other possibilities around you.

As John Lennon said, “life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” Don’t get so fixated on your plans and visions that you miss life happening. It can be really helpful to have some idea of where you’re going, but you may find it’s best to paint that vision with broad strokes. The only way to fill in the details is through lived experience in each moment.

Instead of trying to “manifest” a set-in-stone outcome, I find it works best to simply set the intention to manifest whatever is actually in your highest good. It is very possible that you simply cannot yet at this time envision exactly what your most magical future could look like, so try keeping your expectations somewhat open-ended.

You must make a mess to clean up a mess.

Once you’ve accepted change is necessary, given your intuition space to guide you, and formulated some type of vision and broad plan…it’s time to get to work. It’s time to really dig the fuck in and start making some changes to your life. There’s no way around it – you’re going to have to get your hands dirty.

Depending on the magnitude of the changes you’re making, you may find that you have to deconstruct certain aspects of your life. For example if you’ve decided on a new career path, you might have to quit your current job. If you’ve decided a relationship isn’t working, you’ll have to go through the difficult process of ending that relationship. If you’ve decided to change your living situation, you’ll have to get the hell out of Dodge. And this deconstruction can be intense. In tarot, the Tower speaks to this concept. Blowing shit up in your life is usually pretty terrifying and dramatic. And it is almost always messy.

One time I was in the midst of making a smaller change in my life – reorganizing a closet – but it works as a metaphor here. In order to get the closet into a better state, I had to take out everything in it. That meant that the contents of the closet had to be strewn out across the entire room, creating a huge mess. My man, who was helping me with this task, looked at the closet rubble littering the room and said “sometimes you must make a mess to clean up a mess.”

It’s probably the most Confucian thing he’s ever said to me, and I’ve taken it on as an important life lesson. Sometimes there is no easy way to change directions in your life. Sometimes you have to make a daunting and unruly MESS in order to get things all sorted out. You have to be willing to create that mess and face the consequences in order to get things re-assembled in a better way.

There is no finish line.

There is no way I can say everything about this topic in one post, so I’ll leave you with this. Try things. If they don’t work, try more things. Don’t give up if it takes a lot of experimentation and a few epic failures to create your path forward. You can choose to view everything you go through as a learning opportunity.

And there really truly is not a finish line. Once you sort through one cycle of assessment and change, things might settle down for a while. But then you’ll feel the pull to expansion and change again. This is natural, and it is part of being a growing, evolving soul. Allow yourself to constantly check in with your inner state, and stay continuously engaged in the process of building the life that is right for you. It’s not always easy, but it IS always worth the effort!

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Hi, I'm Carrie!

I'm a tarot reader and mentor.
My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.

Archives

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All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
A Tasting Platter: The Best of Year Four

A Tasting Platter: The Best of Year Four

Okay guys… I want to start by acknowledging that I’ve gotten off the rails with blogging lately. Creating stuff regularly – be that blog posts, videos, or podcasts – has been an important point of pride for me in the four (fooooouuuuuurrrr!!!!) years I’ve been running the biz ‘n blog. But the past few months have been more erratic than I would have liked.

Even though I’ve sort of MIA from the blog and your inbox, I’ve still been engaged in lots of stuff behind the scenes. I am blessed to be working with many awesome clients, plus I’m dabbling in two Very Big Projects which are currently secret but at least one of them will be announced within the next couple of months!

Even so, there’s really not an excuse for me to fall of the blogging wagon. I miss creating content regularly, it gives me an anchor. So I’m setting the intention to get back on track! And to get some momentum going, I dug through my archives today to revisit some of the good stuff I’ve created within the last year or so.

As I excitedly pointed out above, I’ve just passed my FOUR YEAR anniversary of the weird and wonderful work that I do in the world. Four years of tarot readings and mentoring sessions. Four years of writing, creating, expressing, sharing. Fooouuuurrrr whole yeaaaaars (Oprah voice)! Maybe you’ve found me recently or maybe you’ve been around since day one. Either way, thank you so much for being here. I hope you find some value in what I offer.

I have a tradition in which each year when I hit my biz-blog-aversary, I make a ‘best of’ post to share some highlights of what I created throughout the year. This year we have an eclectic mix of written content and some audio content as well! So take a listen or take a read – below you’ll find a savory tasting platter of grade A content.

When Toxic People Are Healers
This blog post nudges you to reframe how you view the “toxic people” in your life. There’s also a tarot spread for you to try.

How and Why To Make Blackout Poetry
Making blackout poetry has been such a cathartic practice for me this year. This blog post walks you through how to start making your own blackout poems.

Five Tarot Cards To Meditate on For Tough Times
Thoughts on cards to reference when the world seems violent and scary.

How To Read The Court Cards (The Easiest Way)
If the court cards baffle you, check out this really effective system for understanding them. Includes a free worksheet for you to incorporate what you learn.

Tarot as a Therapeutic Tool w/Andy Matzner
An episode of the Key Finding Podcast in which I talk to psychotherapist Andy Matzner about how tarot can be used for healing and self-discovery. It’s such a rich conversation!

How To Give A Meaningful Tarot Reading
This might be my very favorite episode of the podcast. I cover so many specific ways you can make your readings more impactful. If you want to take your readings to the next level, this is a must-listen.

***

Wander even deeper into archived treasures: check out the ‘best of’ posts for year one, year two, and year three.

Here’s to another year of creating,

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The Tarot Reader’s Daily Companion


Hi, I'm Carrie!

I'm a tarot reader and mentor.
My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.

Archives

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All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
A Growth Mindset Tarot Spread For Spring (or Whenever)

A Growth Mindset Tarot Spread For Spring (or Whenever)

The Spring Equinox is one of my favorite times of year: regeneration, emerging life, the air of possibility – oh yeah, sign me up for some of that!

This year even more so than usual, the spring equinox energy feels conducive to cultivating a growth mindset. Far from being a woo-woo concept, the impact of living with a growth mindset has been documented through traditional psychological research. The hallmark of a growth mindset is believing that transformation and evolution are always available to you. Contrast this with a fixed mindset, which is anchored in the belief that your potential is pre-determined and beyond your realm of influence.

It makes sense to focus on living with a growth mindset during spring, as spring is quite literally a time of new growth! In order for growth to happen (in the natural world as well as in your inner world) debris needs to be cleared away. Now is a good time to make the conscious decision to shift any stagnant energies within you.

With this spirit in mind, I’ve created a Growth Mindset tarot spread for you to try. The spread positions are inspired by the parallels between growth in the outer world and growth in your inner world. Set aside some sacred time. Take a few deep breaths. Get out your cards and see what comes up. I hope you find something useful here!

If you try this spread and would like to share your thoughts, please do! Leave a comment and let me know how it goes.

PS: Last year I shared some spring cleaning journal prompts for the equinox. If you’re craving even more spring-inspired reflection, check it out!

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Hi, I'm Carrie!

I'm a tarot reader and mentor.
My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.

Archives

Creative Commons License
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.
The Magical Person’s Guide To Interacting With Muggles

The Magical Person’s Guide To Interacting With Muggles

If you are kinda witchy or new-age or really fall anywhere on the magical spectrum, it’s likely that at some point you’ve had challenges interacting with muggles (non-magical people). I work with a lot of folks who are just starting to “come out of the broom closet” and are squeamish about approaching this topic with their muggle cohorts.

I’ve had personal experience with this as well. Only about five years ago, I was terrified to tell the muggles in my life that I was a tarot reader. Now I’ve reached a point where I (mostly) have a handle on telling muggles what I do, but it hasn’t been an easy road. So today I’m going to share a few tips that might help you interact with your muggle friends, family and acquaintances… it’s almost like I’m Professor Mallon teaching Muggle Studies at Hogwarts (#dreamjob)!

Do not assume that muggles will judge you harshly.

This is something I find myself telling my clients all the time. The truth is that even muggles have a little bit of magic (they just don’t know it) and most of them can sense the energy that YOU bring when you interact with them. If you go into a conversation with a muggle assuming that they are going to think your magical tendencies are bizarre, you will likely project this insecurity outward, they will pick up on it…and then they WILL think it’s bizarre!

This is why it’s so important to cultivate a sense of internal approval about your magical path. You have to know that you don’t need the muggle’s approval. I’ve found that just as they can sense your insecurities, muggles can also sense when you are confident and secure. If you approach a conversation with them and embody an energy of self-approval, they will pick up on that. This doesn’t mean they’ll automatically approve of your magical path, but they’ll often at least get that you’re happy with what you’re doing, and if they really care about you, that will be enough to satisfy them.

Do not try to convince muggles to believe what you believe.

Here is an interesting irony: many of us come to eclectic magical paths because we do not like the strict dogma of traditional religious paths. Yet once we’ve formed our own magical beliefs, we might then try to convince other people that what WE believe is the truth! If you approach a skeptical muggle and try to badger them into understanding your belief system, it’s probably just going to end with both of you frustrated. I mean, how do you feel when muggles try to force you into their belief systems?

There is a whole wide spectrum of humans in this world, muggle and otherwise, who believe a whole wide spectrum of things, and that’s okay. Trying to convince people that your beliefs are valid is usually just a waste of your energy. Live and let live, agree to disagree.

Set muggle boundaries.

There are some muggles you might choose not to reveal your magical nature to. If you sense that it is in any way not safe for you to disclose this part of yourself, remember that you are in no obligation to do so. I’ve talked to a lot of magical people who feel like if they don’t tell EVERY muggle they encounter about their magic, they are being inauthentic. I strongly disagree. This is not being inauthentic – it’s having boundaries, and boundaries are essential.

You are NOT obligated to share your magical nature with anyone unless you choose to do so. If you know in your heart that keeping this part of yourself separate from anyone for any reason is best, trust yourself. You don’t owe anyone an explanation of who you are. Sometimes your intuition will pull you to be honest with muggles about this aspect of yourself. Other times your intuition will advise you to keep your spirituality sacred and secret. Only you can determine which approach is best at any given time.

When you do choose to share the magical part of yourself, the muggles that you’re close with – real friends, and non-shitty family members – should love you regardless of how baffling they find your magic. They might not ever really get it, they might not ever start reading tarot or doing full moon rituals themselves. They might be confused or even grumpy about it. But if they really care about you, they need to be willing to accept you for who you are.

I would be remiss not to acknowledge that there may be some muggles in your life who have an unnecessary amount of vitriol about magic. Those who insist on judging you harshly likely have their own internal issues they need to sort through, and as the old saying goes: it’s probably not so much about you, it’s about them. The best way to handle these muggles is (say it with me now) by having boundaries.

Identifying and enforcing your boundaries takes practice and an unwavering commitment to yourself. Examples of boundaries you might set with muggles in your life include: it’s okay to disagree with me, it is not okay to berate me. It is okay to believe differently than me, it is not okay to tell me my beliefs are “wrong.” As Oprah says, you teach people how to treat you. If a muggle repeatedly ignores your boundaries, that’s when it’s time to re-evaluate their role in your life.

Muggles gonna muggle.

Haters gonna hate, magicians gonna make magic, and muggles gonna muggle. That is to say, most muggles are totally wrapped up in living their own muggle lives, and most of them won’t give you much attention either way. I point this out because when you’re just beginning to open up about your magic, you might tend to ruminate about what muggles will say, what they will think, and how they will react. In reality, most muggles aren’t giving you much thought at all, they’re too occupied ruminating on their own narrative. For better or for worse, we are all the center of our own story, and it’s actually kind of liberating to remember that most muggles aren’t really thinking about you at all.

Embrace muggles’ curiosity.

Don’t assume that all muggles are closed-minded! In five years of revealing myself to various muggles, the most common reaction I get is curiosity. A lot of muggles have never been exposed to magic, and they might just want to ask you some questions and figure out what this is all about. You never know when you’ll come across a muggle who senses the magic dormant within themselves, and seeing you take ownership of your magic just might inspire them to do the same.

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The Tarot Reader’s Daily Companion


Hi, I'm Carrie!

I'm a tarot reader and mentor.
My purpose is to encourage your expansion. If you're new, start here.

Archives

Creative Commons License
All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2017
I am part of Amazon's associate program. If you purchase items linked in this site I will receive a small kick-back.

Carrie Mallon

Header art by Annie Ruygt

All site content © Carrie Mallon LLC 2018 

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