The Forest of Souls by Rachel Pollack immediately became one of my favorite tarot books when I read it earlier this year. There are so many wonderful gems, my copy is adorned with underlines and notes. Lately I keep thinking about a passage where Rachel describes being in a difficult time and turning to her tarot cards without any particular spread in mind and saying “take me home.”
It’s not entirely dissimilar from Mary K Greer’s method of writing from the heart with tarot that I referenced in my last post. Both of these approaches to tarot are alluring to me as I continue to find that I’m personally in a tender place, and I think it’s safe to say we are collectively in a tender place as well.
An aside: in my last post I mentioned I’d soon be sharing a piece on gender and tarot. And yeah I thought that’d be out by now… would’ve been nice since it is Trans Awareness Week (HAPPY TRANS AWARENESS WEEK!) but it’s turning into a long one which requires research and brain power, and my brain power is in short supply these days. It’ll be done at some point!
Anyway…tarot, take me home. This feels like exactly what I need right now so I’m going to try it and share whatever comes up with you. I’m using the Spacious Tarot. The Four of Swords, Guardian of Wands & The Emperor have arrived in this moment.
Four is a number of structure, and I have two fours here. So to begin this brings up the question: what is home? More specifically, what is the structure of home that we’re referring to when we ask tarot to bring us home? That is a multifaceted shimmering question as the best questions are.
Obviously, home has a physical level. The four walls you dwell within, the society (or ‘empire’) you belong to, the planet that sustains you. So at the onset perhaps the cards ask: how are you tending to your physical home?
The Guardian of Wands brings this question into greater focus because she tends to a flame, the heart of the home. What is the heart of your home, on all levels, micro and macro? How are you tending to the heart of your home? Where have you been neglectful in your care? What asks for more fuel? There’s a reminder of gratitude here too. At least for me. How lucky am I to have a physical home? I have a semblance of safety. I’m not displaced. That in itself is immense.
There is a vibrancy to the Guardian of Wands and it suggests that tending to your home is not just a chore. It is a joy, or at least it should and could be a joy. What changes does that require? To tend not out of obligation, but out of love? That might mean big shifts in exactly what it is you tend to. Enough caring about dumb bullshit. Time to attune to what actually gives brightness and warmth.
I suppose there is a shadow side to all this too. Because once you move beyond your insulated little home and reach the society level, there’s probably gonna be shit going on that you don’t endorse or agree with but it happens in your name. What do we do with this? It’s different for everyone. Protesting, maybe. Resistance, maybe. Being a radiant, glowing, self-assured example of a different way of being? THAT’S A YES FROM ME.
Sometimes when I look at tarot cards song lyrics randomly come into my head, and looking at these ones I started singing ‘for a minute there I lost myself’ from Radiohead’s Karma Police. All of these cards feel like an invitation to find myself again. What does it mean to come home to yourself? In what ways have I lost myself, and how might I begin to find myself?
I find the Four of Swords is particularly meaningful to these inquiries. We have that stable number four, and swords, the suit of the mind. I am attempting to come back home to my own thoughts, opinions and perspectives. Not in a rigid way. I always want to remain open to other views and new information.
But lately I’ve been entirely too immersed in external ideas: the 24/7 news cycle, the constant bombardment of social media… you know how it is. The noise can be disorienting. I can get concerned I’ll say the wrong thing, or that I don’t know enough, or that someone will misunderstand me (pointless concerns because all of these things will and do happen regardless; they’re part of life and I can survive them). Or worst of all, I get too wrapped up in what everyone tells me I should think to actually…think for myself.
I used to be better about this: journaling, meditating, writing. Articulating my thoughts with care, yes, but not with relentless editing. I’ve strayed from this – for a minute there, I lost myself. Now I want to make intentional space to gather my thoughts like swords on a bench. So that I can take up the space that is mine. Not intrude on someone else’s space, not try to fit into a space I’m actually not suited for. But to assertively inhabit the space that is mine, as the Emperor does at its best.
The interplay of all three of these cards is fascinating in that there is a calmness, but also a boldness. That interplay of calmness and boldness is the energetic space I want to exist within: it is home.
At this point I decided to pull one last card because hey, the number four has been a major theme so adding a fourth card to the mix seems right. And I have the Hermit. A cozy synchronicity that this entire reading is inspired by a book called The Forest of Souls and this Hermit card could be an illustration of such a forest.
Earlier we talked about home as a defined structure in the outer world. The Hermit emphasizes that home is also an internal space. Home is a space within where there is no rush, no expectations, no pretenses. And if you’re into Jungian psychology, home can extend beyond your personal unconscious and into the collective unconscious. In this way, the internal space of home is not isolated. It is solitary, to be sure. But it is still a place of humanity and connection.
The Hermit & The Emperor together remind me of a quote from the poet Novalis: “the seat of the soul is where the inner world and the outer world meet.” I referenced this quote in a post I wrote back in 2018 (which, interestingly, was also about the theme of finding home). At that time I described home as the seat of the soul and that still feels relevant now.
This is an example of how in a broader sense, taking us home is what tarot always does. Tarot is a way for the outer world (the physical cards you lay out) and the inner world (the musings, neuroses and insights the cards evoke) to come together. This is why I always return to the cards. Tarot guides me to the seat of my soul – tarot takes me home.
Sending love always,
Carrie