If you are kinda witchy or new-age or really fall anywhere on the magical spectrum, it’s likely that at some point you’ve had challenges interacting with muggles (non-magical people). I work with a lot of folks who are just starting to “come out of the broom closet” and are squeamish about approaching this topic with their muggle cohorts.
I’ve had personal experience with this as well. Only about five years ago, I was terrified to tell the muggles in my life that I was a tarot reader. Now I’ve reached a point where I (mostly) have a handle on telling muggles what I do, but it hasn’t been an easy road. So today I’m going to share a few tips that might help you interact with your muggle friends, family and acquaintances… it’s almost like I’m Professor Mallon teaching Muggle Studies at Hogwarts (#dreamjob)!
Do not assume that muggles will judge you harshly.
This is something I find myself telling my clients all the time. The truth is that even muggles have a little bit of magic (they just don’t know it) and most of them can sense the energy that YOU bring when you interact with them. If you go into a conversation with a muggle assuming that they are going to think your magical tendencies are bizarre, you will likely project this insecurity outward, they will pick up on it…and then they WILL think it’s bizarre!
This is why it’s so important to cultivate a sense of internal approval about your magical path. You have to know that you don’t need the muggle’s approval. I’ve found that just as they can sense your insecurities, muggles can also sense when you are confident and secure. If you approach a conversation with them and embody an energy of self-approval, they will pick up on that. This doesn’t mean they’ll automatically approve of your magical path, but they’ll often at least get that you’re happy with what you’re doing, and if they really care about you, that will be enough to satisfy them.
Do not try to convince muggles to believe what you believe.
Here is an interesting irony: many of us come to eclectic magical paths because we do not like the strict dogma of traditional religious paths. Yet once we’ve formed our own magical beliefs, we might then try to convince other people that what WE believe is the truth! If you approach a skeptical muggle and try to badger them into understanding your belief system, it’s probably just going to end with both of you frustrated. I mean, how do you feel when muggles try to force you into their belief systems?
There is a whole wide spectrum of humans in this world, muggle and otherwise, who believe a whole wide spectrum of things, and that’s okay. Trying to convince people that your beliefs are valid is usually just a waste of your energy. Live and let live, agree to disagree.
Set muggle boundaries.
There are some muggles you might choose not to reveal your magical nature to. If you sense that it is in any way not safe for you to disclose this part of yourself, remember that you are in no obligation to do so. I’ve talked to a lot of magical people who feel like if they don’t tell EVERY muggle they encounter about their magic, they are being inauthentic. I strongly disagree. This is not being inauthentic – it’s having boundaries, and boundaries are essential.
You are NOT obligated to share your magical nature with anyone unless you choose to do so. If you know in your heart that keeping this part of yourself separate from anyone for any reason is best, trust yourself. You don’t owe anyone an explanation of who you are. Sometimes your intuition will pull you to be honest with muggles about this aspect of yourself. Other times your intuition will advise you to keep your spirituality sacred and secret. Only you can determine which approach is best at any given time.
When you do choose to share the magical part of yourself, the muggles that you’re close with – real friends, and non-shitty family members – should love you regardless of how baffling they find your magic. They might not ever really get it, they might not ever start reading tarot or doing full moon rituals themselves. They might be confused or even grumpy about it. But if they really care about you, they need to be willing to accept you for who you are.
I would be remiss not to acknowledge that there may be some muggles in your life who have an unnecessary amount of vitriol about magic. Those who insist on judging you harshly likely have their own internal issues they need to sort through, and as the old saying goes: it’s probably not so much about you, it’s about them. The best way to handle these muggles is (say it with me now) by having boundaries.
Identifying and enforcing your boundaries takes practice and an unwavering commitment to yourself. Examples of boundaries you might set with muggles in your life include: it’s okay to disagree with me, it is not okay to berate me. It is okay to believe differently than me, it is not okay to tell me my beliefs are “wrong.” As Oprah says, you teach people how to treat you. If a muggle repeatedly ignores your boundaries, that’s when it’s time to re-evaluate their role in your life.
Muggles gonna muggle.
Haters gonna hate, magicians gonna make magic, and muggles gonna muggle. That is to say, most muggles are totally wrapped up in living their own muggle lives, and most of them won’t give you much attention either way. I point this out because when you’re just beginning to open up about your magic, you might tend to ruminate about what muggles will say, what they will think, and how they will react. In reality, most muggles aren’t giving you much thought at all, they’re too occupied ruminating on their own narrative. For better or for worse, we are all the center of our own story, and it’s actually kind of liberating to remember that most muggles aren’t really thinking about you at all.
Embrace muggles’ curiosity.
Don’t assume that all muggles are closed-minded! In five years of revealing myself to various muggles, the most common reaction I get is curiosity. A lot of muggles have never been exposed to magic, and they might just want to ask you some questions and figure out what this is all about. You never know when you’ll come across a muggle who senses the magic dormant within themselves, and seeing you take ownership of your magic just might inspire them to do the same.
Wonderful blog post! I came out of the magical closet a couple of months ago after being prompted to do so by a dream. I only had one person, a somewhat religiously conservative relative, warn me about evil spirits in an email the next day. I responded that I don’t believe in evil spirits, that I believe in a God of love, and that I’ll be okay. Didn’t hear back from her. And yes, I’ve even had one very curious and open-minded muggle react in surprise about how “deep” tarot is. Anyway, great blog post with some really wise advice. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject.
I think it is awesome that you were prompted by a dream. And that’s the perfect response you gave your relative!
Thank you so much for this post. I am that person wondering the best way to reveal my magical ways to muggles. It has helped so much. In fact I think it will be easier for all concerned if I reveal I am a Tarot reader at first rather than the fact I am a Witch. Especially to my sweet old lady friends (I am an old lady too but not really so sweet) at the Evangelical Lutheran Church down the road.
You’re so welcome, Rebecca! Sending you courage and love for your own reveal process.
Forgot to add, I came out on Facebook.
Lovely Post and pretty spot on in my experience, I especially resonates with the energy you bring to the situation bit. I have absolutely been nervous, self depricating around my magic and it never goes over well. Thank you for being awesome and inspiring.
Oh good! I honestly feel I could write an entire post about just that one aspect. It’s soooo useful to be aware of. You’re welcome! <3 🙂