Since launching my website in March, I have been creating a lot of content. I’ve put out videos every week, blog posts every week, and newsletters once a month. I also poured a lot of energy into creating four free guided meditations as a gift for my newsletter subscribers.
I’ve been riding a creative high and enjoying the process. But I’m starting to feel overwhelmed by the urge to constantly go, do and create. Burnout is looming on the horizon.
I usually write blog posts in an organic manner. Each week I reflect on what’s been happening in my life, what lessons I’m learning, and I pick a tarot card that ties into that theme. Last week, I wrote about the Knight of Wands.
This week I could not think of anything to write. I didn’t want to just throw some crap together – I want my blog posts to be useful and authentic. And so I shuffled my tarot deck, asking what I should write about this week.
I pulled the Knight of Wands, this time from the Robin Wood Tarot.
My first thought was “Ah, crap. I already wrote about this last week.” But there are many different angles to the meaning of the Knight of Wands, and I’m looking at this card through a different lens this time around.
Last week, I talked about how the Knight of Wands has the kind of energy I crave. He’s fierce, focused, passionate, driven, immersed in the energy of creation. He throws himself into everything he does, always driving himself to do more, create more, take more action, charge into new territory.
Sounds kinda like what I’ve been forcing myself to do for the past few months.
This week, I’m taking a step back to think about where all of this restless, fiery energy is actually taking me. Are my efforts sustainable? Can I realistically expect to create this much content, cover this much new ground, and never lose my charge?
I’ve placed so much value on this energy of ruthless creation that I feel guilty on days like today where I’m not immediately inspired to crank out a deep, meaningful blog post. I can’t expect myself to constantly be the Knight of Wands.
We all know that our culture places a lot of value on ‘doing.’ We like to see results, movement and action. But it’s important to remember that we are multi-faceted creatures. Sometimes we are driven like the Knight of Wands, sometimes we feel more like the Queen of Cups or the Hermit.
We need to accept that we are not machines that can be forced to do, do, do, create, create, create. I’ve got to pace myself. The world ain’t gonna stop turning if you and I give ourselves a break.
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