I’m settling in with a cup of hot tea (nettle, mint and lemon balm, from my very own garden) on the first day of September. There’s a noticeable chill in the air today. It’s funny how that happens sometimes, at least here in Utah: the weather changes line up with the months changing. It’s supposed to warm up later in the week, but today mother nature got the memo that autumn is coming. And yeah, I’m a #basicwitch so I do love autumn.

It’s been a few weeks since I blogged, and I’ve missed it. You may or may not remember that I set the intention to blog every week in 2020. I was on a pretty decent roll for most of the year, but the past few weeks I stepped away to focus on shipping out the second edition of The Spacious Tarot. I’m *almost* caught up on shipping now. Though I feel like I’ve been saying that for a week. Thing is, the orders keep rolling in! But I’m not complaining. Shipping is a lot of work, but it’s pretty damn amazing to know you’ve created something people actually like and want to purchase. I’m so, so, so, SO grateful.

As usual, there’s been lots of thoughts rattling around in my brain lately. One of them is: I am here. Which is what I wrote in the subject line of this email. I am here. In this room. In my body. In this particular phase of my life. In this time on the planet. Within this web of socio-political, economic and cultural factors. I am here.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to fully understand all of it. I don’t need to judge it, or make sense of it, or suffer over it. There’s bad, there’s good, there’s anxiety, there’s peace, there’s chaos, there’s magic. It’s a weird time, but we are here. You are here. I am here. It’s a simple phrase, but powerful, to me. A mix of ownership and non-attachment.

Things are far from perfect. There’s still so much I yearn for in my own little ego-sphere. And there’s always so much of discomfort and injustice and destruction in the broader sphere. The question for me is always: how can I be HERE and claim some joy and acceptance of that, without BYPASSING what is difficult? It’s an ongoing inquiry. And for me, part of the thing is paradox (something I’m always yammering on about). The paradox of being fully okay with being HERE while also being fully aware of the issues and challenges that co-exist in this space.

Does any of that make sense? I don’t know. I just know we are here. And we’re not here for long. So I want to really be here.

Casual reminder that I’m an INFP. And a Cancer Sun. And a lot of other Cancer in my chart. Including Mars in Cancer. And I feel like all this explains a lot.

As the summer winds down, I’m trying to be outside as much as possible. Tending to the wee bit of land I currently “own” aka my yard. Harvesting herbs. Weekly hikes. Daily walks. Mornings on the porch with coffee and oatmeal and journals and tarot decks. Evenings with a beer on the grass. Just going outside, even in the middle of the city, is one of the best ways I know to shift my energy.

A couple weeks ago the collective energy got to be so intense that the only way I could cope was through awkward attempts at humor which you may have caught on my Instagram reels. You have to do what you need to do to find reprieve at times like this. Sometimes it’s yoga and herbal tea. Other times it’s a cocktail and an hour mindlessly scrolling Instagram reels.

As soon as we shifted into Virgo season I really felt the intensifying of the question: what’s next? But I know that question has to be tempered with the question of what’s now? So the refrain: I am here. Being here builds towards what’s next, but I should know by now there’s no level of certainty when asking what’s next. I’m starting to feel into what I want to be next. But we shall see.

For now: client sessions are still closed as I focus on shipping out decks. A few creative ideas are starting to peek out, and I’m feeling into which one is right to take on going forward. I have a massive list of books to read. I move between the desire to share everything, articulate my thoughts, write write write. And the desire to hide away, to just contemplate, to say nothing. So, as is my pattern, I’ll likely do a little of each.

*fights urge to apologize in case this post was incredibly boring*

Thank you for being here with me. I am sending you the coziest vibes imaginable. We are HERE.

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