Today, while on a walk that began as peaceful, meditative and soothing, I was suddenly and unexpectedly consumed with the bile of anger. The details don’t matter, but something happened that triggered a primal surge of rage within me. Fight or fight clicked in and before I knew it, I was fighting.

Once the moment had passed and the dust settled, I thought about how anger can sneak up on anyone like a hot-fast-lick of flame. Anger can engulf you before your conscious mind can even process what is happening. Anger can cause you to jump without planning.

Anger is a mask for deeper sensations. Sorrow. Injustice. Powerlessness. These are the underlying emotions that were at play within me today. Anger was the emotion that rose to the surface because anger gives false promises of power. Feeling angry is easier than feeling those deeper layers. Anger lets us dance on the perimeter of emotions that are difficult to fully process. Anger feels safer, more guarded, less vulnerable.

Anger can instill a thirst for revenge, and revenge can lead to you harboring the very same energy that you are supposedly avenging. Anger comes from a deep, instinctual gut place. Anger can lead to automatic, unconscious reactionary behavior if it takes the reigns.

Anger is dangerous. If it is unchecked, it can spiral out of control. Anger can quickly go from a flash-in-the-pan lick of flame to a full blown blaze, destroying everything in its path.

But with intention, anger can be constructive instead of destructive. Anger alerts us that something feels wrong, unfair. Anger triggers those deep places within us, our wounds and longings. If we can examine the flames of our anger without letting them consume us outright, we can find a map for true action. Not just reaction, but conscious action. We can find ways to purposefully funnel that anger into communication, protest, and change instead of just letting the raw emotion take us for a ride.

When my anger had loosened its flare through me today, I felt ashamed of myself. I’m supposed to be a conscious, loving, spiritual tarot reader for goodness’ sake. I’m not supposed to be losing my shit and letting anger have its way with me. But the truth is, anger can sink its claws into any human being. Denial, shame and suppression give the illusion of keeping anger at bay. But they are really only holding it at a deeper level, letting it gain fuel. Letting it morph painfully in the depths.

Anger doesn’t care how spiritual you are, how often you meditate or how much you intend to be rooted in peace. These things can certainly help us reframe anger, and work purposefully with its energy, but anger cannot be eliminated entirely from our experience. Anger is a part of our biology, psychology. Anger is a part of our spiritual energy sphere. Anger is an element of being human.

Awareness is the transformational magic you can apply to anger.
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You can purposefully explore your anger, you can find ways to approach it mindfully, you can explore your triggers and shadows. You can filter anger through thought, philosophy and intention. That’s what I’m working on in the aftermath of my angry surge. You can choose to stop being a tool for anger and turn anger into a tool for you.

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