I’ve been staring at this blank document for some time now, trying to figure out how to best describe what I want to say here. Writing this post is bringing a feeling that many actions in my business bring me: a sensation that I’m exposing something deeply personal and private.
That’s what this type of creative, heart-centered, soul-inspired business does: it asks you to get honest with yourself, to dig into your own heart and come forward with some type of wisdom that might be useful to others.
My favorite sources of business wisdom come from a perspective that could easily interchange the term ‘business’ with the term ‘creativity.’ That’s what my business is to me – an ongoing project, something intertwined with who I am as a person, an expressive force. I really feel like my business exists because of a spiritual yearning, a sensation that I have been pulled to travel this path. To put it plainly, it feels like my business is a crucial part of my life’s purpose.
I am a curiously particular type of business owner. In fact, I’m not even really fond of the word “business” because it has a sort of aloof, suit-and-tie association. I call what I do a business because that’s an understandable label to use. But my business is more than just a business, and I’m more than a business owner.
My business is a creative process, a core part of my identity, a highly personal and always shapeshifting piece of art – and I’m the artist. My business is a hero’s journey – and I’m the hero. You know, no pressure there…
Usually, this approach to business feels mystical and intriguing and wonderful and meaningful. But sometimes it feels fucking heavy. Because my sense of self is so closely associated with my business, sometimes my perception gets distorted. It’s easy to make the grave mistake of basing my worth as a human on the state of my business.
If my business isn’t “succeeding” (whatever the heck that word means) it can feel like I’m fundamentally failing as a human being.
There’s a lot of rhetoric out there espousing that if you’re doing what you’re meant to be doing, the Universe will guide you and blast obstacles out of your way. Sure, you might have some trials here and there, but if you are REALLLLLY on the right path, things will work out and you’ll be victorious, right? That’s the way it works in fairy tales. That’s the way it works in all those spiritual memes you see on Instagram. So that’s the way it really works, right?
This whole concept of things working out if they’re destined to work out can be an empowering narrative, but it has a dark side. It can make you feel like maybe you’re not on the right track because right now, the Universe doesn’t seem to be doing diddly squat to help you. It can make you think maybe you aren’t good enough because you can’t seem to make this business thing work.
And worst of all, it can cause you to believe that if your business “fails” you will be utterly destroyed, unable to ever crawl out from the rubble because your worth as a human being was shattered in that very rubble.
This is one of the most potent spiritual lessons that my business journey has presented to me: the art of simultaneously honoring the deep personal importance my business represents, while also detaching my sense of inner sovereignty from this process. I hold paradoxical beliefs and aim to operate in a way that reflects these seemingly contradictory statements: my business is more significant than I can fathom and also not significant at all.
There’s one thing I can tell you in no uncertain terms: your worth as a human being is not defined by your business. If your business does exceedingly well, if people praise you and you make money and find fulfillment, your business doesn’t define your worth. And if your business fails and you go bankrupt and no one ever cares about your work, your business doesn’t define your worth.
The whole reason we become creators and business owners is to experience fulfillment, creativity and joy. And if we want to really experience those things, we need to cultivate a mindset that affirms our inherent worth as always in tact, regardless of external factors. Perhaps our most important work is bringing ourselves home to this mindset time and time again.
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I woke up this morning thinking by myself that lateley I don’t do anything that isn’t business related. Because my business is really me. But there is also a bitter taste to it because of the exact reasons you described…this success thing, this money thing – it can really steal away your selfworth if you take it to heart thinking “I’m a failure.” And uhhh the feeling of “if it is really meant to be it would work – it works with other people so that’s proof for it…”. It’s tough love. This last monday things went really bad for me, no room for a Workshop, not enough people for another Workshop…in situations like this beeing stubborn (and a hero ☺) are my tools. My dedication is bottomless but my worth should not depend on that. Thank you as always – for your sensitivity.
“My dedication is bottomless but my worth should not depend on that.” –> This is such a great quote, you summed it up so well! <3 <3
It depends on how you define, and categorize success. Sometimes spiritual purpose aligns well with career, and some people make a lot of money fullfilling their purpose, but the human ego ideals of success ultimately have little to do with it.
I’ve had a lot of realizations concerning my purpose lately. The biggest breakthrough for me, was realizing I am supposed to be following my resonance and joy and doing what I love. That is it. It’s that simple. What I love is communication of deep meaningful sometimes progressive ideas via various forms of artistic expression, and I am supposed to do that. There is no guarantee people will like what or how I express, or that I will make any money doing it. That’s fine. Because even without any recognition or payment for my work, I will do it anyway, because it brings me joy to do it. If I find I am doing anything that doesn’t inspire me or light me up, it is my que that I am going the wrong way.
I think your blog is a huge part of who you are, but are you killing the joy of doing it by focusing too much on the business aspect of it? I recently bought a website and will be starting a blog soon as well, and I have already decided, if it doesn’t inspire me, if I don’t feel an urgency of joy to express, I am not going to write about it. I will also being running an independent business from my site, but that is an afterthought for me. I am just so grateful for the skill and ability at a chance to do what I love.
We are meant to create awareness and change, but I have been considering a lot lately that a good majority of the purpose of a purpose like this is to connect with others who are like-minded; to create a sort of global support community. It can be difficult when you see the world differently than most around you. To have a network of like-mind people in support of a purpose not everybody understands is important.
You have a unique way of thinking and being that resonates with me. I am a Virgo ascendant, Gemini / Cancer sun, Aquarius moon. That damn Virgo holds me back all the time, and I had a real issue with not wanting to be seen for fear of judgment. Because you are progressive yet grounded, you have been a good example for me. Without you even knowing it, you have been helping me liberate myself, and come forward as my most authentic self. This help you have given me may not have been a conscious intention of what you do here. So, I just want to say, whether you feel you have been successful or not, you have helped at least one person move forward into their purpose.
I think you are spot on – the term success itself is kind of vague and means something different to everyone (I tried to allude to this in my post). You hit the nail on the head about how sometimes our creative purposes will not be the way we actually make money, and that’s okay! Elizabeth Gilbert talks about this in Big Magic and it’s such a breath of fresh air. Like you said, what matters is that you feel called to your work and it brings you joy – that’s it. That’s the important stuff.
Also, your last paragraph is a very meaningful compliment for me. I’m touched and honored to know that anything I’ve done has helped you liberate yourself. <3 <3
Hi Carrie! I know this is not a business related comment (I don’t have a business, so…) but I just want to say that I absolutely friggin ADORE the picture of you in this post. Your facial expression, your hair, you look so dreamy and feminine and strong and beautiful. There, I just had to say that!
Wishing you a beautiful day,
Nirmala xx
Aww, Nirmala! You are sweet. Thank you! <3