The Sun reversed. Joy is there, but difficult to reach. A few months ago I wrote a post about gratitarot (gratitude + tarot). Things were already rough in my life at the time, and it’s only gotten harder since then, and I know it’s going to get harder still. But gratitude is still so important.
Gratitude is a lifeline, I truly believe this. I have witnessed people going through things far more horrific than what I’m facing who are still tapping into gratitude. It’s something pretty remarkable about the human psyche that we are able to do this.
I got on a tangent about gratitude but the word I initially used was joy. And how it’s difficult to reach. Sorrow feels more prominent. But then I remembered something else I wrote about the Sun all those years ago:
Joy is a more potent word than happiness, because true joy can contain happiness AND sorrow. True joy is about being fully present for all aspects of life, about letting yourself fully feel the radiant life force that infuses you, and knowing this is the same energy that infuses the entire universe.
In a way, the Sun reversed is also an accurate metaphor for how I feel “trying to show up” in my professional life lately. I want to put out my usual content about tarot history, spreads, tips and so on. But it feels weird and hard to do that with what I’m going through. So then I think, well, I can write about what I’m going through. But I can’t really do that because it involves other people who deserve their own privacy. So then I try to put my personal stuff aside and just focus on tarot but then I feel disingenuous?! So then I end up here, vaguely alluding to things but not going into any details which I’m sure is obnoxious for anyone who reads this so I’m sorry. Siiiigh.
ANYWAY… let’s turn to a second card. THE DEVIL? I’m not typically one to want to shove a card right back in the deck, but I had a moment just now. It was a fleeting moment because now I’m intrigued by the parallels in the imagery. The Devil also has a ball of light on the horizon and I’m picturing moving through that shadowy landscape and emerging into a field of sunflowers. Dark moments feel like they’re going to last forever, but things can and do shift.
At the same time, I appreciate that the Devil gives space to acknowledge the shittiness of a situation. Obviously I’m all for gratitude and finding shifts and blah blah blah. But sometimes you just need to say to yourself, or to someone else, you know what? What’s happening is abysmal. There can be some relief from suffering just by validating the suffering.
Next, the Four of Wands is here. This feels like a reminder that we are all really just out here in this world doing the best we can under the circumstances. Yes, I have my own struggles. And I know you have yours. Everyone I interact with lately has been going through some type of immensely stressful stuff on a personal level. And then there’s everything happening globally. It’s A LOT.
There’s no perfect way to react. There’s no easy way to navigate these times. But this card reminds us all: we are all doing the best we can. And as the cliché goes, your best is different in every moment. It is dynamic. All we can do is be present with ourselves + each other and try to adapt as things unfold. Be extra patient with yourself and your people. Simply continuing to show up is an enormous accomplishment.
Thank you for being here.