I BUILT MYSELF A NEW WEBSITE! AND IT’S NOW LIVE! YOU CAN LOOK AT IT RIGHT NOW!
I wish I could say that this project was full of serendipity and the universe supporting me…but it just wasn’t. It was really damn hard at times. And that’s okay. I’m going to talk more about that here.
I really loved my old website – but it had been more or less the same since 2014 – and in internet time, that’s more like ten years than three. The old site wasn’t particularly mobile friendly, and that really bothered me (and maybe you, if you ever tried to visit on your phone). This new site is compatible with any phone or tablet or new-fangled device!
I thought about hiring someone to build a site for me, but I gradually (and begrudgingly) realized the Universe wanted me to build it myself. I had a lot of resistance to this project at times. I would complain about working on the site. I would procrastinate working on the site. I would resent working on the site. I would set deadlines for myself and then fail to meet them.
the fuck down and say, “Carrie…my love…what is going on?
What’s the REAL root of all this resistance?”
As I sat with that question, I realized that I was resisting because this project wasn’t full of EASE. In fact, this project was often a royal pain in the behind. So many things went wrong: one time I spent a good hour getting something just the way I wanted it, only to realize none of my changes were saved. Another time, I spent hours and HOURS researching how to do something and NONE of the suggestions I tried worked.
At one point, I drew a couple of cards for myself about this project.
Out popped the Eight of Swords and the Moon, of course!
So yeah – this project wasn’t full of ease. It was often full of the opposite of ease – stress, frustration, and confusion.
The obstacles inherent in this endeavor were leading to my resistance, because I was telling myself a story that a lot of creative people tell themselves. It’s the story that goes “when you do what you’re meant to be doing, doors will open. The process will flow. You’ll be in the zone.”
This can be a useful story, to an extent. I certainly have had the experience of feeling that the Universe is supporting my projects and that things are flowing with magic and synchronicity.
But if you really devote to living a creative life, there will be times that a project nearly makes you punch a wall. Even the most meaningful creative projects can at times be difficult and trying. Even the project you most need to be working on – the project that has the potential to expand your soul – can seem at times like every freakin’ thing is going wrong.
I think this is one of the reason the Universe wanted me to build this site myself. I needed to be reminded of this truth. It’s something I already know, but I tend to forget:
Doing meaningful things does not guarantee that the road will be smooth at all times.
Sometimes we absolutely NEED the challenges and setbacks that pop up along the way, because that’s how we grow. Yeah, I get it, Universe. You don’t wanna let me just cruise through some things – you want to give me interesting puzzles to work through. Well played!
Now that my new site is live, I really could not be happier with how things turned out. Getting over the learning curve was brutal, but I now have a whole new web design skill set. When I look at this site, I feel like my energy, my love and my fingerprints are everywhere. I don’t know if I’d feel that so strongly if I’d hired someone else to build the site.
And perhaps the most valuable thing I’ve gained from this project is that reminder that doing meaningful, creative things is challenging. Growing pains are part of the process. If you only continue with projects that always feel easy and full of grace, you will definitely avoid some frustration – but you’ll also miss out on a lot of adventure.
That’s it for now – thank you so much for being here. I have soooo many things I want to create now that the new site is up. I feel like I’ve burst through to a new level of creative autonomy through this project, and I’m excited to continue to share things with you in this new energetic space.