Yesterday was January 1, 2019. At 9am I set the intention to have a sugar-free month during January. At approximately 12:15pm I consumed a delicious decandent bread pudding, which, as you may have guessed, was sugary AF. Whenever I do things like this, I try to find the right blend of self-love and self-discipline. The self-love part is in accepting that perfection is not an acheivable aim and being kind to myself when I get off track. The self-discipline part is in delving into WHY I have veered away from my goals and making a plan to stick to the things I know will ultimately be better for me.
I know I’m not alone in feeling kind of disgruntled about a bumpy take-off into the new year: I posted a tough or tender tarot reading on my Instagram today, and the TOUGH message in particular resonated with a lot of folks. I drew the Devil from the Wild Unknown tarot and this was the message that came through:
It’s day two of a new calendar year and maybe things have gotten off to a bumpy start. Perhaps you’ve already slipped back into some old habits that should have been left in 2018. Maybe you’ve engaged in some behaviors you know are toxic for you. The Devil requires you to face these things directly. No making excuses, no lying to yourself, no avoiding ownership. It isn’t useful to succumb to the siren call of shame when you fuck up, but it IS useful to be curious about your shadows. What is the root of your self-sabotage? How can you shift your resistance to making positive changes? Know that even if the ‘take off’ phase of 2019 has been bumpy, that doesn’t give you an excuse to abandon your good intentions. Do not throw your hands up and choose to stay stuck. Choose progress over perfection.
As is often the case when I post these mini-readings, the tough message was the one I needed myself! It is currently the evening of January 2, 2019. This morning I reaffirmed my intention to avoid sugar this month. And even after the bumpy start yesterday, today has been much smoother. Will I fuck up in the future? Probably. But I’ll never stop trying to re-direct myself towards the choices that I know are more affirming of my overall well-being.
It always takes me a while to settle in to a new year. I still feel in transition right now. My new planner for 2019 hasn’t arrived yet, the Christmas decorations are still up, and I’m easing back into a typical schedule after holiday parties and travels. I’m also still working through my personal copy of my Dreams & Themes for 2019 ebook, so if you’ve been thinking about getting one for yourself and haven’t done so yet, know that it’s not too late!
One of the exercises in the ebook walks you through using tarot to choose a theme word for 2019. But this year I didn’t even need to turn to tarot because I already knew what my theme word would be: CLEAN. This resonates for me on so many levels. 2019 will be a year of cleaning up my actions, sorting out my mental file cabinents of old stories and neuroses, clearing away literal and energetic clutter in all areas of my experience. I’m already interested to see how my relation to this theme word evolves throughout the year.
Maybe you’re super into all of this new years stuff, maybe you’re not. Maybe you’ve had an amazing start into 2019, maybe (like me) it’s been a bumpier ride. Either way, the most important thing is that we are here. We are showing up. May we keep affirming our right to be here, to take up space, to make mistakes, to be fully engaged with all aspects of the journey. May we be patient with our humanness and do what we can to live with intention. That’s my wish for us all in 2019 and beyond.
PS: I wanted to mention that after the first round sold out, I’ve now opened up a few additional slots for ‘Setting Your Theme for 2019‘ tarot readings! As I am writing this there are only about seven left, so please do claim one soon if you are interested.